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Title: placing blame from the 1st date? Post by: fakename on March 04, 2013, 05:07:01 PM i was trying to think back to how things were between me and my exgf with BPD and trying to identify things i overlooked.
how soon did you guys start seeing some of the symptoms? i can now recall, as soon as a day after our 1st date, she started soem nonsense argument with me about how the girl is never ever supposed to pay. (i saw this as extreme, i figured the girl should at least offer but yeah the guy should pay most of the time) but i remember her over-reacting about it do they yell and pass blame even in the idealization phase? though i'm not sure if i even went through an idealization phase cause she was seeing someone else at the time i later learned... . Title: Re: placing blame from the 1st date? Post by: owdrs on March 05, 2013, 10:08:38 AM I was approached by her in a bar, we exchanged numbers, and I called her 3 days later. She scolded me for not calling earlier and seemed genuinely mad at me. I laughed it off... . I was just looking for some fun. I should have known better.
owdrs Title: Re: placing blame from the 1st date? Post by: fakename on March 05, 2013, 10:10:33 AM i think i have to admit in the beginning, it was just cause i was horny and i thought she was hot that i pursued it. i didn't really care that much for her as a person or her personality. but then i got sucked in and fell in 'love'... .
Title: Re: placing blame from the 1st date? Post by: trevjim on March 05, 2013, 10:23:04 AM I met up with her as a friend as she was having problems, she said that day that "we would be having sex within two weeks".
I was hooked from then on lol Title: Re: placing blame from the 1st date? Post by: Leaf on March 05, 2013, 10:51:47 AM First date – Great, and he is so handsome!
Second date – He was a bit distant, a lot less eye contact Third date – He had adviced me to do something, I told him I hadn't done it yet because I had been too busy. Before we left the bar I went to the ladies and when I got back he had already left. I didn't know that, I waited, asked the bar tender... . Later he told me that he had left because I hadn't done what he said. Nothing but red-flag from the start. I was fresh out of my previous bad relationship, love and sex starved, and I wanted to brake my pattern, to get out of my comfort zone, I thought the red flags marked the edge of my comfort zone, they did lol By the way, a couple of weeks ago I was at the gym, I looked up because someone invaded my personal space and I got this dagger like eye contact from a handsome guy that reminded me of my ex, I recognized it instantly: BPD eyes! I didn't know how fast to look the other way. I'll have to work on myself so I can stop being a magnet for men with a personality disorder. I'm pretty old but before my previous bad relationship I never encountered one. I guess I looked very needy. |