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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Esperança_Hope on March 05, 2013, 09:45:51 AM



Title: Updating -
Post by: Esperança_Hope on March 05, 2013, 09:45:51 AM
Hello, girls

I´ve been absent for  a while.

Many things hard issues happened.

My DS become violent during february. Decided to move to the city where he was born, and lived all his live. The city all of us  ( my family origin) lives.

After a hard talk , ended with him screaming bads words and grasping my hair and pushing me... i tried vwey hard to not take it personally but i felt very bad. He told me odd things, and i felt very ill. This was 2 days before his birthday. He was with his airplane ticket  scheduled... .  so, maybe this is his way to say goodbye after 8 months living here.

My daughter just left afeter a nice week she stayed here with me , my cats and hubby. Nice time. she is so sweet and faithful.

she just left to Brussels.

I´m with Lupus and I just need to take care of me and be praying in this forty-day liturgical season of fasting, special prayer and almsgiving in preparation for Easter.

This gives me the opportunity to cultivate my spirit of generosity. It gives me a chance to share what I have and who I am  with other people. It puts me in communion with others and helps me understand that I am a member of the Body of Christ.

Think carefully about how I will share my time, my talents and my treasure during Lent. Days of fast, abstinence and spiritual exercises like pray psalms of penitence and so on.

time of healing , to silent prayer or meditation. It will revitalize my  body and my spirit.

Hubby is going to Church everiday with me in a lovely convertion.

I need this time to be in silence untl Easter.

Love all of you.

god bles you all.

 

Esperança


Title: Re: Updating -
Post by: Reality on March 05, 2013, 10:10:59 AM
Esperança_Hope,

It is so good to hear from you.  Just reading the way you express yourself makes me feel less alone. 

My son would act weird-crazy, just before there was to be a leave-taking.  Yes, weird-crazy.  He was so much better all the time once he started DBT except when I was going to see my husband. 

Once he threw the milk carton on the floor.  He must have been sad I was leaving and he could not verbalize his real emotions so he acted them out physically.

It is difficult to understand what is really going on... .  and very painful to be subjected to the horrific outbursts.

May your preparations bring you peace and good will.

Reality



Title: Re: Updating -
Post by: Being Mindful on March 05, 2013, 02:43:17 PM
Esperanca, I'm so glad you decided to share here. We all care for each other and support one another. I too forget to reach out here myself and was recently reminded of that.

I want you to know too that I too was the victim of physical abuse from my d. It is terrible. I'm sending you     .

When you are ready... .  during Lent or after, we are here for you.

Being Mindful


Title: Re: Updating -
Post by: qcarolr on March 05, 2013, 03:09:49 PM
esperanca - thanks for sharing you lent plans with us. I am hopeful you will find some peace during this time. And to have your dh with you -  :)  Even though we are not always as caring with each other as we could be, my dh is precious to me.

I am so sorry your DS was so hurtful to you before he left. All we can do is make assumptions about what was in his mind or heart as he went through this time of seperating from you and the great support he received during those 8 months. It is so very hard to take in that sometimes the violent, pushing us away is the only way they know how to reach out toward us. Sounds crazy, yet this is my DD's pattern so much in the past. Even when the changes being made are our kids choices.

Peace to you -

qcr  


Title: Re: Updating -
Post by: griz on March 05, 2013, 04:44:32 PM
esperanca:  I am sorry about what has happened with your son and I hope that this time will bring you the peace and rest that you need.  I was so happy to see you post as I was worried about you and think about you all the time.  I am sending you my love.

Griz