BPDFamily.com

Has anyone got any recent experience with My Family Wizard? We're in the middle of a custody assessment and were checking out the site. It looks good and we're wondering if it's worth trying to push to have SO's uBPDew ordered to use it. Currently, it's email and the odd phone call and she's terrible about being held accountable to taking the kids to appointments, expenses, exchange times for the kids, etc.

Does it help cut down on the control that the pwBPD has in terms of them not being as able to change stories after the fact and trying to pick fights?

Thanks for any info!

I can tell you that I wish I had this in place in my custody arrangement.  It would greatly decrease the problems around the parenting time calendar as well as holding her more accountable.  From what others say about it on here, they swear by it.  I'd recommend that if you do use this you include some language in your order around how much time she has to respond to inquiries or messages and how often she needs to log on to check.

I think there is more info about it on the court/divorce/custody board

We used it, and it was great in the way that we could see if the BPDex even bothered to read an email.  When you send a message or get one, you can set it up so you get a text notification.  It logs whenever anyone logs in, and it has a calender that you can use for exchanges.  Once things are set, they can't be deleted or changed. 

We were able to use several things as evidence in our last hearing.  It cost each parent $99 per year.

Downside- Ex doesn't like that we could see when she read things or logged in, didn't like that we could print out her emails and use them in court.  She announced right after court she was no longer comfortable using it and wants to go to an email address she created specifically to email. 

Also, while she was using it, if she ever went too long between responding and logging in (She is supposed to check and respond within 72 hours) she would always use the excuse she could not access the page.  (Funny, we could access the page every time and never had an issue)  but if she ever got mad about something she didn't like she would be right on there)

She would also claim it "lost messages" also not true.

Basically, it was most useful to us in the fact we could see if she even bothered to open what we sent to her, which a lot of time she never did.

Last Sept it was court ordered for both of us. I went on it as ordered, x2bunp/dBPDh hasn't yet. I post on the calendar, and I post the other info pertaining to legal joint, ie medical and dental since I'm the one who takes care of that .   Xh is famous for "I didn't know, no one told me" so I continue to post on it more for  me than for him for document/evidence.

Kids don't use it, I have their schedule (school ,activities,  other parent days, on the bulletin board. They are 12 and 14, and usually tell him what's going on on his days.

I think its worth a try.

We love love love love Our Family Wizard. BPD exW hates hates hates hates hates OFW. It's specifically written into our CO that both parties can use that and only that for communication. She just can't handle being told what to do though. DH ignores every single thing she says or sends that doesn't come over OWF and he can because of the way the CO is written. It's glorious!

I   OFW for life!

Forgot to mention you can add third party access. DH gave me an account and BPDexW went bananas and gave every member of her family an account (parents, brother, etc.). So DH just copied all of them when he responded to one of her nastier emails. She deleted them all the next day.

Thanks for all the great replies!  I think that, no matter the results of the assessment, we'll likely ask to have it written into the CO. We looked around the site the the other day and it looks pretty cool.

Regardless of whether you use family wizard or not, I think having how and when communication written into the CO is very helpful.

There was always too many coincidences in past with x2bh.

Another one... .  I just posted that he wasn't on OFW. He now is.

? You mean like you think he's following your posts on here?

I agree that we'll have more detail in the CO than what's currently in the agreement (not a CO). She needs to be held accountable for our protection.

whirlpoollife, do you think he's on here?

Viewing the Family Law board, plus a couple of the other boards here, is restricted to members only.  If you have confidentiality concerns, then contact the staff.  The moderators and board advisors are listed above.