BPDFamily.com

After a few weeks of breaking things off with my ex BPD boyfriend, I'm working though the grieving process as best I can.  In some ways, I feel better.  I'm relieved I can do what I want without judgment or being criticized.  I'm still scared of the uncertainty of where my life is going but I know in time I will have a new direction.  I'm sorta turned off by guys in general right now.  When guys notice me, it totally turns me off and I just feel like a piece of meat.  Never felt like that before.  Is it because I felt used and I'm taking it out on all guys in general.  Is this normal?  Has anyone else felt this way while they were grieving? 

I confess that I have experience some pangs of generalized misogyny.

"All" women are superficial, dishonest, unfaithful, gold-digging succubi that will use me like an accessory and ATM until it no longer suits them.

I don't like having those thoughts and I know they're not accurate, but it's going to take a lot before I'll ever trust anyone again.

One needn't look any further than the members of this forum to realize there are people of both genders who are interested in having meaningful, loyal, intimate adult relationships.  It is natural to be a little cynical after an abusive relationship.  Give yourself some time to feel better, but don't ever forget there are lots of good, trustworthy people all around you. 

I can't say what "normal" is but I can say I felt the same way you do for about 4 months.

Then I started to relax and get in touch with my own joyful feelings and now I'm a bit interested in guys. I am ultra cautious, mostly because I don't want to lead some guy on only to find I'm not ready, I've been hurt badly and I don't want to cause hurt  for anyone else.

I will say, my cautious interest didn't pique until I was able to know, for sure, I did not want to let my ex back into my life.

I truly can say I detached from the ex... .  and that's when I began to see possibilities... .     

LNW