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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: mamachelle on March 08, 2013, 10:16:05 PM



Title: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: mamachelle on March 08, 2013, 10:16:05 PM
I don't know where else to post this.

Is there a cutting epidemic going on?

My DD 13 & 16 nonBPD kids --- say many many many friends are cutting. They've been saying this since last year.

2 girls we know well are hospitalized / outpatient right now and go to different schools. Don't know each other.

I am so sad. One of them may have injured herself so badly she had to be hospitalized for her injuries.

I hear the cutting girls are posting pics on tmblr, Fb,, instagrm. Like its cool.

It's an epidemic around here.

Is there any thing like advocacy groups trying to educate kids ( mostly girls ) to  stop the re-posting pics of this stuff?

Anything else I can do?

Anyone else seeing this in their area?


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: lbjnltx on March 09, 2013, 12:06:08 AM
The glorification and normalization of self injury originated (at least in this decade) from the "emo" subculture. The popularity of the group is spread through the internet.

Also, drug use, dark clothing, dark thinking and hopelessness are integral aspects of the subculture.

Once an adolescent is entrenched in the "emo" subculture it is very difficult to find their way out.


Not all people who engage in self injury are part of this subculture.  Some are on the fringe of the group and adopt the behaviors without the attitude.

Adolescents w/BPD are vulnerable to hooking onto this group as they can identify with the mindset and self injury, have low self image and a need to belong and be accepted.


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: BlushAndBashful on March 09, 2013, 12:21:41 AM
I don't usually post over on these boards, but I've really been wondering the same thing in the last few months.

I'm usually over on the leaving boards due to my r/s with my dBPDexH, but recently my son has become friends with a girl (15-ish) who has some very extreme BPD traits. She cuts frequently, as do many of his friends, her friends, and other students at their school. She sends him pictures of the cuts and instant messages him while she does this. This seriously freaks me out (and him, as well). I had never heard of cutting until a year or two ago- and now flocks of them at his school are doing this.

For what it's worth, the emo ones (here) don't seem to be doing it- it's the ones on the fringe.


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: vivekananda on March 09, 2013, 04:52:25 AM
As a teacher, I became aware of cutting as an 'epidemic' of recent times. Self harm has I believe been always with us in one way or another. In the early 90's it began to be more of a problem as a result of an interrelationship with the 'new' technologies - mobile phones and the internet. With each wave of social media, it becomes more known about. In my school it had associations with emo sub culture, but not only that.

I understand pw BPD self harm in part, to ease the pain they feel. So physically hurting them selves draws their mind of the emotional turmoil and pain they feel and makes it a physical reality. In these situations, their attnetin can be distracted sometimes by alternatives to cutting etc, such as holding ice in their hands - a really panful thing to do, but one that causes no real harm.

It is though, I believe, a complex subject.

cheers,

Vivek    


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: griz on March 09, 2013, 07:33:55 AM
I didn't even know what this was until my daughter started doing this 2 years ago.  The first time I saw the marks on her arms I asked her and she told me the cat had jumped on her.  My older daughter made me aware of what was going on.  It took me a long time to understand why my DD was doing this but as I learned more I was astonished at how common it was.  If you go on tumblr there are actually groups of people who post pictures and dedicate their whole site to cutting.  They have a tremendous following and unfortunetly my DD got sucked right into this culture.  I would look at her tumblr and the people she was communicating with and it was very scary but the one thing I realized very quickly is that she had now found a place where "she felt included".  The feedback she got was not disgust, no one made fun of her and people actually praised her for how wonderful she was.  Yes there were a few followers who tried to tell her she shouldn't cut but there were so many others that applauded her that as far as I am concerned it became an addiction.  Much like the tumblr groups for anorexia, bulimia many of these sites encourage and applaud these behaviors and no one monitors these sites.  Tumblr will say they will take the page down if you do this but they don't.  It actually makes me sick that there is no accountablity to anyone.  Dr. Oz recently had a program where he interviewed the owner of the site Dear Anna, which practically encourages anorexia.  They guy who owns the site sees nothing wrong with what he is doing. 

Over the past two years that I have become more aware of self injury, I can't believe how much of it is out there and yes I believe it is becoming an epidemic and a fast growing rate.  Very scary.

Griz


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: jellibeans on March 09, 2013, 12:29:20 PM
My daughter was hopsitalized and while in the hospital meet a girl who was a cutter... .  she then started cutting too. She will post photos on instagram but If I see them I get them down quick and she loses her phone... .  so lately no photos and no cutting... .  I think it is for attention... .  so people can she how much she is hurting and I am sure she is... .  

My daughter mimicks the people she is with... .  I do think this is part of the BPD profile but teens like to mimick too... .  I didn't realize this was so widespread... .  


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: daze on March 09, 2013, 01:39:54 PM
Yes, I have two teenage sons and they tell me cutting is part of the emo culture.  It's baffling.  Somehow I don't think all those emo cutters are BPD.


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: mamachelle on March 09, 2013, 09:45:11 PM
It's a cold comfort to know this is really so widespread. Worldwide if I look at just this small group of ladies posting... .  

I looked at my DDs tumblrs tonight and it was majority of pictures of beautiful women mixed with pictures of Starbucks and Victoria's Secret and funny cats and more cats... .  No cutting. But to think of cutting and anorexia advertised along with vogue and eyeliner and Paris and cute cats... .  the juxtaposition of images like in tumblr so disturbing for these young brains.

I used to be worried about heroin chic ... .  

I work in digital and film media. I mentioned cutting to a colleague and he said when he worked for a major men's magazine, he was "always retouching these cutting scars" from the models arms.

Yes, a very complex subject.

I may contact a friend who works with empowering young girls professionally to see what she thinks. The problem with calling attention to it is that you will introduce more girls to it.

Thanks all for posting. I'm still kind of thinking about this. It's making me mad that our daughters are hurting themselves and becoming addicted to this and sites like tumblr profit from it. I realize it is a much more deep issue and yet to see it so superficially, devoid of any meaning, spreading spreading... .  I don't know.


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: lbjnltx on March 11, 2013, 02:10:56 PM
Here is a nationwide resource you might want to check into and see about posting (or something similar) as an alternative to self injury:

S.A.F.E. ALTERNATIVES®

Phone:    800-DONTCUT® [not a hotline]

800-366-8288

Fax:    888-296-7988

Email:    infos12selfinjury.com

Web:    www.selfinjury.com

Self-injury self-assessment a person can use when having the urge to SI: www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html.



Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: mamachelle on March 13, 2013, 01:02:34 PM
Hi lbj,

Thanks for this.

I looked at links off the selfinjury site and saw this site which is reaching out to the teen population.


To Write Love on her Arms

It looks good, seems like a good cause, outreach to college campuses, deals somewhat with self-injury and provides resources. Nice marketing.

The problem is that is seems to be run by a bunch of 20 somethings with no degrees in anything or experience in treating or raising kids with mental illness.

The other thing that concerned me --and it may be more about the design than the intent of the site-- was that there were links to 'news stories' citing studies with a hot link to a source but it's not apparent unless you click through -- no actual citations-- I didn't know until I looked at it three times that that there was another link (interesting article btw):



Actual source not named just linked to is:

www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/03/the-benefits-of-optimism-are-real/273306/


I guess there is a long way to go on reaching out to teens as well as parents and older folks struggling with how to counteract the media messages, treat, and recover from self-injury.

These sites do provide a start and I am happy to see there are a couple out there.



Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: BioAdoptMom3 on March 14, 2013, 03:04:43 PM
I am not sure how much of an epidemic it is, but since we became aware that our 13 y/o daughter was doing I have discovered it is a lot more prevalent than I first realized.  She also suffers from anorexia and bulimia and as a matter of fact, was just hospitalized for 5 days because of the 3 self destructive behaviors, most concerning one to them being bulimia.  She seems to be trying to emerge out of that emo culture as she just recently asked us to have her hair cut really short so she could grow it back to it's natural blonde without stripping it.  She is also not wearing the emo band t-shirts as much as she was.  I hope and pray she indeed is emerging from that!  DD is also the typical BPD person - abandoned as an infant, adopted by us and facing all types of self-esteem and relationship issues due to that abandonment. 


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: Winifred on March 14, 2013, 04:26:31 PM
Our 32-year old BPD daughter began cutting in her late teens. She was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward after one of the episodes. The cutting gradually died out, and then she tried it again in her mid-twenties. She told me that this time "it hurt." I don't think she has cut herself since. She seemed anesthetized to the pain during the previous episodes. So, I'm wondering, what's going on if some cutters are following a fad but are not cutting to self-regulate elevated emotion? Surely the pain would dissuade them, unless the pain is the point of it all. Any insights, anyone?


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: Confused1981 on March 14, 2013, 04:30:00 PM
my 21 year old gf has been cutting herself allot lately since i beleive she has BPD her moods after she broke up with me out of the blue tend to go towards a depressive state and she cuts herself atleast every other day since our breakup even though she says she doesnt miss me or doesnt love me anymore but why else break up with me then cut yourself


Title: Re: Is there a cutting epidemic going on ?
Post by: lbjnltx on March 14, 2013, 04:47:51 PM
Like any other maladaptive behavior cutting has a pay off for them.  Here are some that come to mind:

Attention seeking

Releave pent up painful emotions (endorphin release)

Outward expression of inner pain

A sense of belonging (peers who cut)

A cry for help

To "punish" others who will feel "bad" because they caused the person to cut.

Any single or combination of self injury behaviors are possible.  Replacing self injury with a higher level coping skill is always preferable.

There is a theory that self injury itself is a higher level coping skill than becoming suicidal.  In that context, I suppose it is.

Professional help is most definitely warranted.

lbjnltx