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Title: baby has burned palms Post by: motherof1yearold on March 09, 2013, 10:11:00 AM my daughter came back from her fathers with both palms burned. she is 19 months. I messaged him and asked what happened, he rages at me saying
I could ask you the same thing ! She came from YOUR house like that and my parents photographed it so you better shut up! I'm so stressed, that did not happen on my watch or I wouldn't have been asking HIM about it! He is so convincing his lawyer always believes him and I'm afraid the judge would too. He claims to have been at work the day "she came back from my house with the burns" and his parents photographed it. Sounds more like is negative advocate parents let the baby get burned and are now blaming it on me! What do I do ! Title: Re: baby has burned palms Post by: GaGrl on March 09, 2013, 10:26:08 AM Take your daughter to an urgent care facility. Have the injury assessed. Tell them what the timing has been. A doctor should be able to tell how old the burns are-2 days? 3? Ask for a copy of the med record and send it to your lawyer with a full explanation of what happened. Get your lawyer's advice as to whether Child Protective Services should be called-that could get ugly.
What is the extent of the burns? First degree redness or second degree blistering? It probably happened exactly as you say, but why didn't anyone take her to a doctor? Title: Re: baby has burned palms Post by: motherof1yearold on March 09, 2013, 10:32:20 AM Take your daughter to an urgent care facility. Have the injury assessed. Tell them what the timing has been. A doctor should be able to tell how old the burns are-2 days? 3? Ask for a copy of the med record and send it to your lawyer with a full explanation of what happened. Get your lawyer's advice as to whether Child Protective Services should be called-that could get ugly. What is the extent of the burns? First degree redness or second degree blistering? It probably happened exactly as you say, but why didn't anyone take her to a doctor? The burns aren't bad at all just redness and thickened skin, enough for me to notice and question it. It hasn't been bothering her since she came back her . If I took her to the doctor it would have to be today as she goes back to her Dad in the morning. I'm thinking they are calling CPS on ME as we speak and blaming it all on me! If that were the case, being passive once again screws me over? Am I right or wrong? Title: Re: baby has burned palms Post by: marbleloser on March 09, 2013, 11:02:15 AM Gagrl is right. Take your d to the doctor.Today! And,being passive with BPD doesn't work.Be assertive,but not aggressive.
This is biggest fight of your life right now.Give it all you have! Title: Re: baby has burned palms Post by: ForeverDad on March 12, 2013, 01:04:22 PM my daughter came back from her fathers with both palms burned. she is 19 months. I messaged him and asked what happened, he rages at me saying I could ask you the same thing ! She came from YOUR house like that and my parents photographed it so you better shut up! What do I do ! Something like this happened a few months ago, where father accused right back at you. The advice then, which still applies, was to make a simple request for information, as appropriate and just one time, then proceed with appropriate medical attention and/or documentation. Best to do it at the start of your parenting time - as in "this is how I just received my child" - not at the end, of course. From a Nov'12 thread "Still being punished" Quote from: tog Quote from: motherof1yearold Well today was my day with child and as soon as I got her I noticed she had a really nasty cough so I emailed and asked if she had already been to the doctor, he said No , I said I would take her today. He then replied saying "I give her medical attention. I will take her. Wait til tomorrow." That is absurd! So I had to reply like 3 different times saying "I am her mother, and I am taking her today." He then called my Dad and threatened to call the police? ? Then threatens to file a report on harassment (they're the ones harassing me!) and to get a restraining order... . Next time, just take her to the doctor and then send him a follow-up email about the doctor's instructions. There's nothing in your order that says he's in charge of medical care, right? And the court is going to punish you for seeking medical care for your child? So it should go like this: You: D has a bad cough, has she been to the doctor? Him: No, I haven't taken her. You: (3 hours later). Dr. X prescribed antibiotics for her cough. I will send them with her when she returns. Him: THREAT! THREAT! PROJECTION! RAGE! ANOTHER THREAT! You: *crickets* The point is that you need to expect - and not get intimidated or sidetracked - that any questions asking him to divulge possibly incriminating information will only result in him responding with a flaming blamefest and threats to make counter-allegations. The most you should do is ask whether child saw the doctor and probably too ask what happened. Nothing more, odds are you will not get a positive response, then do what you need to do as a parent. Of course, you are naturally concerned he will try to make you look bad and allege it's all your fault! (http://www.billeddyhighconflictinstitute.blogspot.com/2008/05/book-release-its-all-your-fault.html) But that should not block you from doing your parenting. On a different subject, have you made any progress on getting your driver's license? That's still a vital step toward becoming independent. |