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Title: transference Post by: SarahinMA on March 11, 2013, 08:43:32 AM Did you see this a lot in your ex? I know my ex had some enmeshment issues with his mom. He was an only child, raised by a single mom (who has her own waif issues). She would call him everyday, and I remember he would look so annoyed when she called, but felt like he had to take it. They had a very strange relationship.
With that being said, the more I think about it, the more it seemed like he definitely projected or (transferred) his anger for her to me. His mom and I even kind of look alike. Both are tall with long dark hair. I'm 3 years older than he is. I would make something for dinner and he would compare it to his mother's, etc. These were all red-flag 's that I noticed, but ignored. Some of his last words to me were that I took him for granted and I tried to take up all of his time. He often said that he didn't have a life in high school because his mother guilted him into staying with her and keeping her company. But, he also got angry in the relationship if I tried to make plans with other friends without him. It was so frustrating! Title: Re: transference Post by: have gone nc on March 11, 2013, 11:20:58 PM I once told my ex " I will always lose because I am a man "
says it all really... . Title: Re: transference Post by: afterdeath on March 11, 2013, 11:30:12 PM Did you see this a lot in your ex? I know my ex had some enmeshment issues with his mom. He was an only child, raised by a single mom (who has her own waif issues). She would call him everyday, and I remember he would look so annoyed when she called, but felt like he had to take it. They had a very strange relationship. With that being said, the more I think about it, the more it seemed like he definitely projected or (transferred) his anger for her to me. His mom and I even kind of look alike. Both are tall with long dark hair. I'm 3 years older than he is. I would make something for dinner and he would compare it to his mother's, etc. These were all red-flag 's that I noticed, but ignored. Some of his last words to me were that I took him for granted and I tried to take up all of his time. He often said that he didn't have a life in high school because his mother guilted him into staying with her and keeping her company. But, he also got angry in the relationship if I tried to make plans with other friends without him. It was so frustrating! What I can relate to here is she was in constant contact with her mom and dad via texting/calling and she too would also act annoyed but yet always took it, she trashed them as soon as she was done saying they always wanted her for something, yet she would always want something from them too... It was the strangest family relationship i witnessed, they all secretly hated each other and it's like i was the only one informed of this? She would call me a mommas boy yet i am the one that moved away from my family to be with her while her family was literally next door. She ran to mom to smear me constantly, her mom usually stuck up for me when i was around, hard to tell what was said when i wasnt. Very strange family values indeed. |