|
Title: Any happy marriages after divorce from BPD? Post by: cal644 on March 12, 2013, 10:49:04 AM We'll the divorce is almost finalized. I doubt many people are on this site that are happy now. But I was just curious how many of you have found a happy marriage after your divorce from a BPD spouse?
Title: Re: Any happy marriages after divorce from BPD? Post by: JDoe on March 12, 2013, 11:44:05 AM I'm not married yet, but I will be in 80 days. :)
Spent nearly 20 years with BPDXH and left just over 2 years ago. There is hope for happiness after BPD. I never would have guessed that I would be so very blessed! When I left, all I was thinking about was choosing life over the death that I was certainly heading toward. Title: Re: Any happy marriages after divorce from BPD? Post by: nina125 on March 12, 2013, 12:38:35 PM I lurk here daily and decided to create an account just to answer you question.
Short Answer: YES! We have been married for 4+ years and I am finally starting to understand what it means to be happy. Long Summary: I was engaged to my exBPD but we never made it to the alter (thank god). We were together for 7 years and broke up a few months after we got engaged. I never realized there was a thing called BPD and chalked it all up to his quirky behavior. You see, I never knew what "normal" was because of the BPDs I saw in my family. So after the breakup, I started dating my now-husband. In fact, I felt like something was wrong with my husband and our relationship because there was never an idealization phase in our relationship. There were no push-pull, no drama, no undying declarations of love (&hate), there were no major fights about silly things, there were no fights that lasted for weeks before we made up and the euphoric feelings that came after we made up. But in my gut I knew that there must be something right about the relationship because it was completely different from what I had with my ex. Now that I know what BPD is, I can better understand what "normal" & "happy" are, and the more I can appreciate what I have with my husband. We have been married for only 4 years now, so it is too early to call it a successful marriage yet. But I think it is successful so far because it is low stress, less tears, more smiles and a lot of fun, which was the exact opposite of my relationship with exBPD. I am so glad that I learned to listen to my gut. Title: Re: Any happy marriages after divorce from BPD? Post by: hithere on March 12, 2013, 01:40:14 PM I am engaged and getting married this summer. The woman I am with now is wonderful! I am very lucky to be getting another chance at happiness. My relationship with my BPD ex was only 3.5 years but it felt like 50!
You can be happy again, I promise! Title: Re: Any happy marriages after divorce from BPD? Post by: karhues on March 16, 2013, 10:00:12 PM Thank God - I want happy - it is possible!
I know I had to let him go off with my replacement without begging him back - I knew he would never change and he was slowing killing me. I may be sad and lonely now but at least he's not laying on my couch texting 2 other women he's trying to nail (as he put it). |