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Title: Feeling totally stupid... Post by: wanttoknowmore on March 13, 2013, 07:19:55 AM I used to be a self confident .self assured man with good knowledge of judging people but after this break up, I feel self doubt,shame and inadequate. How could I have missed so many warning signs... how I got so blinded. Some of the red flags were her putting me on pedestal with constant praise and flattery, her victim posture and looking for advice in all matters, her white and black thinking about her two children, Her suddenly saying" i saw an image of my father... but its you... " her multiple aches and pains, pity party and preoccupation with weight loss and looking "groovy"
her exposing her butt in a public part while walking with me and asking to take a picture of her behind... . and then,saying "i can even get you arrested for it." Lots of warning signs... . every day I find more and more red flags... I truly feel stupid... I just want old self back. I have started to heal. These boards are so helpful. Title: Re: Feeling totally stupid... Post by: Vindi on March 13, 2013, 07:43:39 AM please do not feel stupid... . yes, i think we all see red flags but tend to ignore them, hope they go away, disappear... . I think you need to think of positive affirmations of yourself! any time you hear a negative doubt looming in your head, say the word "stop".
How long have you been broken up? and how long we're you together with her? How was your old self? think of positive ways to get that old self back, say positive things, look in the mirror more with positive sayings, this won';t happen over nite, work on yourself and you to becoming that better person, stronger person, etc. Heres are some links to check out: US: Dont let them control your life! (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=135876.0#top) "Red Flags"/How to choose emotionally healthier partners (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=68885.0) stay postitive and be good to you! Title: Re: Feeling totally stupid... Post by: hithere on March 13, 2013, 09:22:00 AM Yes, we have all been there... . but don't be so hard on yourself, like you I was looking for true love and was willing to overlook so much.
Use this as a lesson so you can spot any red flags early in your next relationship. Time will help heal you and just focus on keeping active and doing things for you. The old you will come back eventually, just that much wiser! |