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Title: Silent treatment again, so far so good Post by: pikar on March 15, 2013, 02:20:31 PM Hi,
It has been 3 days my wife does not want to talk to me. the few times she talks to me, she needs my assistance for something she cannot do by herself, she almost whispers. And I get badly criticized from time to time if she feels like it. And when I casually offer my help I get a "I told you not to speak to me" in return. Last time it happened (6 month ago) I went to this forum seeking for answers but I was already deeply hurt and it made me cry in front of her... . But thanks to you all, this time I am trying a different approach: I do my business and take care of my daughter and myself. Despite the fact I don't feel comfortable around her (fear of criticism?) I feel good and don't think too much about the situation. We'll see how long it lasts, but I trust you guys on this one, it will end. Title: Re: Silent treatment again, so far so good Post by: sad but wiser on March 15, 2013, 02:22:05 PM Keep going Pikar. Knowledge is power, and a great defense against inappropriate guilt and shame.
Title: Re: Silent treatment again, so far so good Post by: CodependentHusband on March 15, 2013, 03:44:21 PM I've done a lot of work, and I'll admit, the silent treatment is one of the things that still gets to me sometimes. Most of the time though, I use the tools. Of course, you know one of the real secrets to this though, right? I need to get to a place where you're okay with it and it doesn't phase you. Knowing that it will come to an end is definitely one of the ways I've thought about it to help get me through as well. Stay strong and keep up the good work!
Title: Re: Silent treatment again, so far so good Post by: Rockylove on March 16, 2013, 07:56:03 AM But thanks to you all, this time I am trying a different approach: I do my business and take care of my daughter and myself. Despite the fact I don't feel comfortable around her (fear of criticism?) I feel good and don't think too much about the situation. |iiii YAY! Glad to hear that you are feeling good in spite of your wife's behavior~~it's not always easy, but so rewarding. Title: Re: Silent treatment again, so far so good Post by: pikar on March 16, 2013, 04:14:35 PM It's been 4 days now and there's been some changes :)
We have small talks sometime followed by laughter, she cooked some great food for me and sends me funny things on Facebook. I can see the end now! First time I handle the situation smoothly and I am glad because I didn't suffer much from it. It is not easy at first to keep in mind that the silent treatment isn't going to last forever... . But it is so true! Thanks for the tips guys |iiii Title: Re: Silent treatment again, so far so good Post by: LetItBe on March 16, 2013, 07:00:05 PM So glad to hear of your success, pikar!
It sounds like many of us here have been experiencing the silent treatment this past week or more. I am about to find out the results of my not intruding on my uBPDbf's silence the past few days now that he's reached out to me. Hope this had laid somewhat of a foundation for you build upon, pikar, so you can remember the silent treatment won't last forever, and you can still feel good about yourself. |