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I have been nc/lc most of this last year with my exBPDgf. She and I have been friends for over 13 years and we dated for 2, as friends she and I didn't really talk about having sex with people much less one night stands. So my question is why now, I haven't talk to her for awhile and she will go though great lengths  to get in touch with me (having her sister call me, creating new email accounts that I haven't been blocked... .  etc... ) so I reluctantly gave in this last time and took the phone block off and talked to her. Somewhere in the conversation she tells me that she had sex with some stranger from a bar last week. It doesn't really bother me because I already think she's kind of skanky and there is no way that I would ever consider dating her again, but why tell me this especially when she knows that I have no problem with NC with her and she knows I'm against this kind of behavior. Since she and I had this conversation I have been NC with her for about a month and she has made 3 attempts to get in touch with me including having her sister text me, I really don't have any desire to talk to her.

Maybe she thinks that as a friend, she can share that stuff with you now.

It could possibly be that she is trying to make you jealous - not because she wants to recycle you, but because she wants you to "want" her... .  for her ego, I guess.

I hate the mind games.

You haven't said how you feel about it though? x

I think they just like hurting people, or continuing to push you away even though you're gone. It's like-see if you're there and if you are possibly still interested in her vs. push you away if you are there or interested.

The one thing I learned, you cannot apply any logic or rational thought to what they do. Their thinking pattern, at least in regards to any close relationship, is all messed up.

Thank you for all the responses and I agree with all of you, it could be any one of number of reasons.

Mango

You haven't said how you feel about it though? x

I appreciate the question. It doesn't really bother me, a year ago is when I found out that she was not being faithful and it really bothered me at the time. Although when I found out It was hurtful, it was also an "aha moment" and a lot of things fell into place and all of a sudden things made more sense. Now that she tells me something like this, it just reconfirms that she not the person I thought she was and I'm so glad that I got out of it before we got married or had kids. I just see her as a very ill person with a very real disorder and I was supportive of her until I became her target for abuse. Now im just enjoying the peace and working on my life and I've have been seeing a counselor that specializes in BPD and im making great progress. As far as the grief part of it I'm done with being mad and I feel that im predominantly at the acceptance level. On  most days I feel sorry for my ex and hope one day she will seek therapy and I do wish her well.

Hiloguy, sex means something different to her, she remembers the relationship differently to you.

If you are maintaining a friendship can you set a boundary around this?

Clearmind

Thank you for the response. I'm maintaining lc/nc for now. I'm concentrating on my life and sometime in the future maybe she and I could be friends on a limited basis.