Title: need help bad Post by: firefly360 on March 17, 2013, 05:54:26 PM hi everyone,
Ive been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she has BPD and ptsd. Over the years we have been on a emotional roller-coaster. Shes cheated on me 3 times maybe more. Her counselor told me to have patience. I don't understand how she says she loves me and I'm the best for her but yet she goes around and flirts with others. She told me yesterday that i don't do anything for her and i dont love her. I've supported her through 3 years and gave her chance after chance. When i try to leave she crys and tells me not to go. When a girl flirts with me its game over shes pissed but she goes around on dating sites and flirts. Then she constantly tells me she loves 20 times a day sometimes. Its starting to emotionally drain me and she sees nothing wrong. I understand there is 2 or more sides to people with the disorder. But seriously i don't know what to do. I love her deeply we have been through soo much. Title: Re: need help bad Post by: TigerEye on March 17, 2013, 07:26:17 PM Hey Fireflyx29
Sounds like you're having a tough time of things, I'm sorry you're hurting. I can relate to what you are going through in many ways, my SO has had a diagnosis of PTSD to go with the BPD and it's been a tough ride. But welcome to the forum, *welcome* you have come across a wonderful place to get support and answers to your questions, I know you have many right now. I can assure you that you are amongst people who understand the situation you are in, you're not alone. May I suggest one of the first things you look at is the abbreviations list at the top of this thread next to the Guidelines tag, you're going to see quite a few and it helps to get your head around them, plus it saves your typing fingers! It's good that your GF is seeing a counselor, are you seeing anyone yourself? What have you been doing to take care of you? Do you have friends or family to talk to about this? Dealing with these situations can be emotionally exhausting and it's important to take care of you too. By the fact you are here it shows you want to get a handle on what's been going on and the best place to start is the Suggested Reading at the top of the Undecided Board. The articles there can start to give you an understanding of the disorder and what our role is in the dysfunctional dance, how we can make things better, and most importantly in the first instance, what we can do to stop making it worse. Whilst it is true that the behaviors you have described are unfortunately not unusual in this type of relationship, it doesn't mean it has to be this way forever, you've taken the first step towards making your situation better, whatever you decide to do. So start reading and keep posting, the answers will start coming! Title: Re: need help bad Post by: Grey Kitty on March 17, 2013, 09:04:45 PM *welcome* What you are saying sounds pretty familiar around here. You will find many supporters who have been there with you before.
The description of her bouncing back and forth between wanting/loving you and then saying that you don't love her is common. It is just the thing her mind does with stuff she can't cope with. Understanding that helped me deal with it a lot. Have you done other reading on BPD, or is this board your first exposure to it? there is a lot to read about and understand, but as you get more familiar with it, you can make things much better for both of you. Hang in there. Did your girlfriend tell you she has PTSD and BPD? You say she is in counseling. Is it something targeted at BPD, like DBT or Schema? |