BPDFamily.com

Yesterday, I texted her to ask if I can come over for 5 minutes to talk and ask whats going on. To my utter disbelief, I get two quick text replies...

"Try me... come... bring your gun... lets finish it once and for all"   I can't believe this... she has been such a nice woman... What happened to her in last 3 weeks.

She knows I am not a violent person and I am against owning a gun. It is so sad that when people are dysregulated what hurtful things they can say.

Is there anyone else who has such an experience? I am going total NC until

she contacts. I dont know if I can trust her again. This gun thing seems so

scary. Please share if anyone had such experience?

I haven't had THAT dramatic of a reply... .  but for your own personal and LEGAL safety it may be wise to stay as far away as possible.

Thanks. I am in absolute no contact mode now. I stay miles away form her home or workplace. I want to wind up this r/s in safe manner so that I dont get more harm to my family, reputation or wellbeing. I am not going to take an impulsive decision to escalate her emotions. I am certainly getting stronger each day and started understanding what a dangerous situation I ended up in. It baffles me that I couldnot understand that she can change this dramatically... its just the opposite of what she has been for 2 years. At times, I still get carried away by my need to help her get better but it is not possible. I beat myself up for not able to figure out this person before and feel like a moron.

My stbexw knew that I was going to kill her towards the end  I've never raised a hand towards you ever - I've never yelled at you but now I'm going to kill you?  She would be - I knew you came upstairs last night with a butcher knife to kill me   .  Toward the end she was also begging me to hit her all the time - begging hit me, please just hit me   . Her mind was so warped towards the end where I have become this serial killer - when I've never even had a fight or hurt anyone in my life.

You guys are really scaring me.  While my ex didn't do these things, I wonder if she'll get worse with time?  She's 34.

There were definitely moments, even before I knew about BPD, when she'd be behind me in the kitchen with a knife and my "spidey sense" would tingle.  I'm serious.

I forgot about those times until now.

Recoil,

I dont want to scare you but in fact, i am scared as I never ever dreamt that such a loving, caring and devoted girl can change and say such a thing about me . She used to say "You are my BFF, my soulmate, my dreamboy, my one and only, my only hope and happiness and so on. She will try to help me with putting lights on Christmas tree, bring the tree in her SUV, even clean my office at times to make me happy. What a shock to see that she thinks I will get a gun and we can end it all.

I dont know what else is going on in her life with job,with children,with health etc.

Have anyone watched the movie "fatal attraction" it can give some insight abour BPD. Its not common but is certainly possible. i know she is dysregulated and may be dissociating and paranoid

Her voice sounded horrible, the sreaming and crying was heartbreaking. I can't forget the lovely girl I was with for 2 years and I feel so helpless and sad to imagine her condition. I told her I see that you are scared but we promised to protect each other. Lets keep that promise. I dont intend to harm you in any way. I willnot contact you for a long time to give you rest from all this chaos.

I got some kooky texts recent too. One she has repeated is that if we were to get back together, and something went wrong, like I cheated, she would "kill someone", or "kill me".

The other text said that she knew how dangerous I was, LOL. I have never hurt anyone in my life, and certainly never her. I am really a nice guy, and people think I'm a sweetheart who was manipulated  and lied to by her.

The lovely girl you were in love with for two years is gone, as is my lovely girl and many other people's lovely girls and guys.

It's just a fact with the disorder, and it's a very serious disorder. Nothing we can do about it. You know their lives will probably never be happy or normal, but that's OK for them, they are used to that.

This is some seriously scarey stuff. My uBPDh has never threatened to hurt me or himself his threats are just to leave me. something odd and I wonder about this. He sold his truck 6 months ago after a terribly bad month of probable disassociation (after reading that here I think) and has not replaced it. Says there is no money but not true. I think he wants to say he cannot leave as he has no way. I finally after getting so many threats, said if you want a divorce and to leave than go. You are miserable with me. If the way I am breathing is problematic for you then it is your problem not mine. I know it wasn't the right response now, but really, the way I inhale and exhale... .  that is BS.

I wonder what his response will be if I ever do leave. Makes me scared in a way I had not considered.

Keep yourself safe, keep excellent records and think out any scenario in advance when you will be interacting with her.