BPDFamily.com

We all go through stages after it ends, denial, grief, anger, sorrow, and guilt.  We get on here and try to find meaning to why they acted a certain way, why it is we feel a certain way, what we can do about it, how they are sick, etc, etc.   Do you ever just wake up and wonder what the hell difference does it make to try to understand anything?  what difference does it make to get up and go to work in the morning? what difference does it make to get up period?  its just the frank realization that the only person that you thought ever really loved you, a person that actually made your heart smile, someone you thought that truly cared about you     was all a big lie, there never was such a person, you just wasted your life trying to love someone that didn't exist.  why want to do anything after that

I did waste my life, and I can't go back. Believe me, nothing or no one is worth it. I gave up on people, have no friends or family, i am in poverty, and nearly homeless in a few weeks, and all she said was, "I'm sorry, but I'm glad you are ok, I just bought a new house and pool!" It is a hell that is hard to bounce back from if you keep trying to figure them out. You'd better think about caring what matters and what don't about your own life, or you'll end up crazy like me and them :'(

I have felt that way in the past but time is a great healer. The purpose for me in trying to understand BPD, and raking over the coals of what I thought was "the relationship" is to remind myself never to allow communication with him again. Knowing it never was? Agree it's completely brutal  xx

Because although that chapter was an illusion and sick plot twist all in one, it will not be the end to my story. I will not allow him to define the rest of my life. He is not worthy.