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Title: He apologized Post by: lostkitten on March 19, 2013, 03:00:45 PM In his strange, distant way of talking, and having no accountability for his behavior and actions. It's just cruel - he says he's sorry I still have feelings for him, he's sorry it's rough for me. And that it' may sound "cheap" but for me to "keep my head up", and he knows how hard it is. In the same email, though, he does tell me he is doing well and happy - and "working on his demons and trying to remove his scars".
I havent gotten mad at him yet - I keep waiting for that. I just feel a deep sadness and loss. I still love him. I couldn't flip a switch. He did. Its been under 5 months - I moved out two months ago. This is all really new. I heard he's seeing someone new now. Someone that he's known for years, and that i've met a few times. I'm not sure how serious - but it's happening. I can't even bring myself to think about it. What kind of woman, in their right mind, would date someone they knew just ended an engagement and relationship? And what does he think he can find? Title: Re: He apologized Post by: Clearmind on March 19, 2013, 04:47:46 PM History will repeat itself.
It is early days for you LostKitten. It takes time to process our emotions. I know it hurts - it hurts for a reason - to jolt us into some form of reality so as to not choose a Borderline again. How are you looking out for yourself? Title: Re: He apologized Post by: LuckyEscapee on March 20, 2013, 03:19:22 AM Lost kitten
Stay here and read and learn and find your support. To be here and out of the madness loop is the start of the rest of your life I never cease to be amazed at the commonality/familiarity of BPD relationship experiences here. It is often uncanny. Like we played the same lead part in a tragic film. Same script, same lighting, same ending. They wash, rinse, repeat. The are locked into a cycle they cannot seem to change. Mine has a replacement, got engaged, yet he is still trying to fish in my pond, and get me re-hooked. Pathetic, and pitiful Title: Re: He apologized Post by: afterdeath on March 20, 2013, 05:39:47 PM In his strange, distant way of talking, and having no accountability for his behavior and actions. It's just cruel - he says he's sorry I still have feelings for him, he's sorry it's rough for me. And that it' may sound "cheap" but for me to "keep my head up", and he knows how hard it is. In the same email, though, he does tell me he is doing well and happy - and "working on his demons and trying to remove his scars". I havent gotten mad at him yet - I keep waiting for that. I just feel a deep sadness and loss. I still love him. I couldn't flip a switch. He did. Its been under 5 months - I moved out two months ago. This is all really new. I heard he's seeing someone new now. Someone that he's known for years, and that i've met a few times. I'm not sure how serious - but it's happening. I can't even bring myself to think about it. Erhart kind of woman, in their right mind, would date someone they knew just ended an engagement and relationship? And what does he think he can find? Consider yourself lucky he waited at all, I was replaced before I was even kicked out and we were getting married this June. Engagement means fair game to most people now, even marriage is scoffed at now, love has become nothing more than a game of chase, once the chase is over, you're old and boring, time for someone new. Engaged and considered daddy to her daughter, and replaced before kicked into oblivion. They have no rules in their world. Title: Re: He apologized Post by: lostkitten on March 21, 2013, 02:43:00 PM In his strange, distant way of talking, and having no accountability for his behavior and actions. It's just cruel - he says he's sorry I still have feelings for him, he's sorry it's rough for me. And that it' may sound "cheap" but for me to "keep my head up", and he knows how hard it is. In the same email, though, he does tell me he is doing well and happy - and "working on his demons and trying to remove his scars". I havent gotten mad at him yet - I keep waiting for that. I just feel a deep sadness and loss. I still love him. I couldn't flip a switch. He did. Its been under 5 months - I moved out two months ago. This is all really new. I heard he's seeing someone new now. Someone that he's known for years, and that i've met a few times. I'm not sure how serious - but it's happening. I can't even bring myself to think about it. Erhart kind of woman, in their right mind, would date someone they knew just ended an engagement and relationship? And what does he think he can find? Consider yourself lucky he waited at all, I was replaced before I was even kicked out and we were getting married this June. Engagement means fair game to most people now, even marriage is scoffed at now, love has become nothing more than a game of chase, once the chase is over, you're old and boring, time for someone new. Engaged and considered daddy to her daughter, and replaced before kicked into oblivion. They have no rules in their world. I asked him WHY he was leaving, now, after everything. His answer was "Because I still can". Engagement means nothing. He's been very communicative these past days. It seems like he knows, that every time I get a few steps ahead - and he comes back with a vengance. Hes, this time around, taken more responsibility and apologized more for me being so upset. It seems like we discuss how we need to not be in touch with each other - and theres always something. He emailed me Tuesday, to see if I deleted my facebook. When I told him I blocked him, he was upset, but understood. Then, yesterday morning, he emailed to ask about something he had heard about me from a mutual friend ... . it's like hes keeping tabs on me. He admitted hes not as happy as he is, and talking to me is comforting to him. Thats how I feel, too. Its so unfair - why cant he just realize what hes doing and come back? Title: Re: He apologized Post by: Cumulus on March 21, 2013, 02:51:25 PM Oh lost kitten, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Unfortunately, I would say based on my own experience, that he does know what he is doing. What he is doing is making sure you stay where you are so when he has need of shelter/ love you will be there to take him back. Your job now is not to stay where you are, but to educate yourself and understand where you are coming from so when that time comes you will be able to make a wise and informed decision that is good for YOU.
Title: Re: He apologized Post by: recoil on March 21, 2013, 06:01:27 PM Excerpt he says he's sorry I still have feelings for him, he's sorry it's rough for me. I just wanted to say that these do not seem like apologies to me. To me, that's like saying, "I'm sorry you bled when I hit you". Not, I'm sorry I hit you. |