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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: whiletheseasonspass on March 20, 2013, 02:39:57 PM



Title: Self-handicapping- a real phenomenon
Post by: whiletheseasonspass on March 20, 2013, 02:39:57 PM
I was checking out something on the Web and came upon the term "Self-handicapping" in Wikipedia  

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-handicapping

Then I Googled the term and there are zounds of links to this phenomenon.  I wonder if it could fall under BPD behaviors.  A form of self-sabotage with interesting explanations.  

And btw- on another issue if you have not seen Dr. Phil today but will still have access to it- it is about NPD

It is about "Confronting N Personalities"  Self-absorbed people face family members who want them to change their ways.  For those or you whose loved ones with BPD also have NPD- it might be worth watching.

For me- I come from a whole FOO of this stuff... .  anyway- really meant to mention the self-handicapping topic.  

 



Title: Re: Self-handicapping- a real phenomenon
Post by: Someday . . . on March 30, 2013, 08:04:58 PM
Wow!  It's good to see a subject like this posted!  I never realized that there was a word for it . .I used to call it self sabotaging.

My daughter definitely does this.  In fact, I was told by two of the psychologists which she has had (dd 25) that she does this.  I even spoke with my daughter about this and she gave a similar explanation.  She said that: "I would prefer to sabotage myself, than to REALLY try and find out that I couldn't do it".  It does make sense. . .who would want to know that no matter how hard they tried, that they really could not do something that they set out to do?   Since my daughter's functioning level is pretty low, it would even make more sense in self sabotaging (self handicapping). 

I have really tried for her to see that baby steps are the way to go and inevitably she would undertake more than what she would capable of accomplishing . . therefore a self fulfilling prophecy.

Thanks again for posting, it was good to see this subject addressed.


Title: Re: Self-handicapping- a real phenomenon
Post by: jellibeans on March 31, 2013, 12:32:53 AM
Thank you for posting this... . I find this very interesting ... . need to read a few times... . I can see this in my dd especially in regard to sports. I wonder if any one has connected this with BPD? thanks again  


Title: Re: Self-handicapping- a real phenomenon
Post by: Thursday on March 31, 2013, 02:44:25 AM
wtsp,

Thanks for providing this link. I've always known that this is part of what goes on with my SD, just never put it into words.

She has a level of self-awareness about this... . won't motivate herself to job hunt for fear of rejection. Instead she is "waiting" for someone she knows to "give her" a job.

The last time she had a job she got some complaints about performance from other employees and within a few days of being admonished by her administrators, she overslept, didn't call in. Her boss was out of town and this somehow went overlooked. So, she overslept AGAIN and was fired. It makes sense... .

thursday


Title: Re: Self-handicapping- a real phenomenon
Post by: qcarolr on March 31, 2013, 10:03:52 PM


Not sure all of this is relevant - just what came to mind. So I deleted it all.

qcr