BPDFamily.com

Sometimes I wonder if her diagnosis of BPD from the multiple psych ward visits during suicide attempts is accurate. She was a meth addict since age of 17, she's now 26. And with 5 months clean time when she came home to me after rehab if it was just residual effects of being addicted so long along with alcohol dependence. I'm not a drug user so I really don't know. I guess I second guess myself and doubt my decision to kick her out of my house after her last physical rage a month ago.

It's also disheartening to see she seems so happy now, while I'm still pretty burnt after all I gave of myself.

I gotta ask because an addiction isn't a small thing to cope with especially if you aren't an addict yourself, does it really matter whether its BPD or meth?

She sounds like either way she has a very long road to recovery.  Precarious at best and most likely susceptible to relapse. 

Are you interested in keeping this relationship going?

I am not in a relationship at the present moment. When I kicked her out of my home for hitting me a month ago she relapsed on drugs alcohol. At the present moment she's just being enabled by her whole family whom all are alcoholics / drug addicts themselves, all the while parading how happy she is and hooking up with multiple men.

Yes I would be interested in keeping it going if I got a solid commitment to change. But that seems very unlikely to happen.

I hate to be the 'bearer of bad news' , or whatever you like to call it, but my EX BPD husband was a meth addict AND person with BPD!

I find that while he was "high enough" from smoking his meth , he actually treated me better and it seemed to clear his mind a bit. But that was not true for every incident in our marriage. If you would like to know more or pick my brain just let me know.

Good luck

She may look happy on the outside but I seriously doubt she is on the inside.

Are you in therapy? Maybe it would help you figure out why you don't feel like you deserve better.

I'm kind of with hithere on this one.  If 50% of marriages end aren't you stacking the deck even more against yourself by choosing this one?  Beyond that, starting or restarting a relationship on an ultimatum of "I'm here so long as... .  " just seems like a recipe for disaster.  I've found that addicts and sometimes people with disorders are more likely to relapse/self sabotage if they're beholden to commitments of positive change to a SO.  They're most likely to succeed in sobriety or therapy if it's a commitment they've made to themselves not something they were coerced into.

I find that while he was "high enough" from smoking his meth , he actually treated me better and it seemed to clear his mind a bit.

I've found that my BPD husband is easier to get along with while he's high or drinking too - he smokes pot, not meth, but I hate it and hate it and hate it, but then sometimes selfishly like it because at least he's nice to me when he's messed up.  the problem really comes in when he sobers up.