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Do borderlines devalue everyone they are in a relationship with? My exBPDgf and I split three weeks ago. She has been on meds for a year but has only been through two months of therapy so far. At what point in therapy do they start to fight the devaluing process?

I hear it takes years of therapy, but I think its great that she is being proactive about her health.

As far as do they devalue everyone, I would say everyone that they are close to yeah.  I watched my ex do the same with his best friend when he came to stay with him for a month.  It was cool for me and I couldnt help but find it amusing because it wasnt me under the microscope.  :)

He also told me the other day he was going to take one of his mates off his facebook because she is massively overweight, complains about it on facebook, and then posts the fattening food she just ate.  He sees her as a failure

This reminds me of all the devaluing that my ex-wife did.

- Would unfriend old Facebook friends that would post updates about the vacations they took, expensive things they would get, etc.  She had severe jealously issues.

- Two of her bridesmaids had very little contact with her after the wedding.  I don't know whose fault this was, but she constantly bashed those two.  My wife was expecting them to worship her or something like that.   She painted them black pretty quickly.  I once asked her if she ever reached out them... .  she didn't say anything.

- My ex-wife once dumped a guy who she had 7 month relationship with, and gave absolutely no reason why.  She just stopped talking with him.  This guy brought her to Barbados.  How do I know this?  I talked to him personally. 

- ... .  and now me.  I imagine I'll be idealized in a few months when she's lonely, depressed, and overweight again.