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Title: Did your Borderline Ex like to hear other people fight? Post by: Findingmysong723 on March 25, 2013, 07:30:10 PM My Ex (undiagnosed Borderline) lived in an apartment complex and when other people in the apartment started agruing, he would get all excited like a little kid. He even started a fake fight for us to both pretend to be agruing over something stupid, it only lasted for a short time, but it was pretty silly. He was in an abusive home when he was little, so I'm thinking that calmness makes him uncomfortable and fighting is something familiar. However, I was wondering if this is something that anyone else can relate to with their Ex Borderline. Wondering if their Ex Borderline liked others to be in conflict as well, we all know that they start conflicts with us.
Title: Re: Did your Borderline Ex like to hear other people fight? Post by: Hurt llama on March 26, 2013, 01:35:32 AM Not mine... she didn't like to hear bad stories or gossip and would remember anything I ever said about anybody as 'proof'... . of what exactly i don't know...
For some reason I just remembered a story she used to tell me over and over. Her married friend decided that each time she would have sex with her husband she would 'charge' him and they would save the money to spend on vacations. She clearly loved the idea of getting paid for sex! She said one of her earliest fantasies was being a call girl and boy she really has the tools to do that... but that would not end well. To say the least... . brrrrr Title: Re: Did your Borderline Ex like to hear other people fight? Post by: GreenMango on March 26, 2013, 03:25:30 AM Who needs a fake fight when you probably could have gotten the real thing almost any day of the week just by triggering the person.
Watch out for folks that operate under the premise misery loves company. Title: Re: Did your Borderline Ex like to hear other people fight? Post by: Findingmysong723 on March 26, 2013, 02:36:55 PM Yea, your right GreenMango, something to look out for. Also, now that I've been out of the relationship for a few months, I think I remember him saying something that was definitely a red flag. He was trying to put something up on the wall and he couldn't figure it out and I couldn't help because I didn't know how. My Ex tried to figure it out for a little bit then got frustrated and then he yelled and through the thing, it got a little damaged. (He ended up trying to glue it and he put it back on the wall. However, after he cooled down, he said something like "see that wasn't that bad, you only saw me get mad once and I think he hugged me. Looking back, he saw that I was taken back from the behavior and wanted to reassure that it wasn't that bad... . red flag red flag. However, I liked him a lot at the time, so I was like well he only did it once... . of course there was more to come.
Title: Re: Did your Borderline Ex like to hear other people fight? Post by: GreenMango on March 26, 2013, 02:51:31 PM Emotional control and appropriate coping skills aren't the hallmarks of BPD
I saw some flags too. Strange looking back huh? Title: Re: Did your Borderline Ex like to hear other people fight? Post by: crashintome on March 26, 2013, 06:54:31 PM Mine used to laugh and gloat when her friends/family would break up or divorce. She thought it was funny.
Her theory was everyone breaks up - love never, ever lasts forever and no couple is together forever. Title: Re: Did your Borderline Ex like to hear other people fight? Post by: Findingmysong723 on March 26, 2013, 07:37:38 PM Yea, it is GreenMango, hindsight 20/20!
Title: Re: Did your Borderline Ex like to hear other people fight? Post by: Vegasskydiver on March 26, 2013, 07:47:38 PM Her theory was everyone breaks up - love never, ever lasts forever and no couple is together forever.[/quote] Mine felt the same way... . he said nothing ever lasts forever, especially love. Probably because he never experienced true love, only lustful love and when that feeling wears off he bails... . on to the next adrenaline high red-flag |