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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: SadWifeofBPD on March 25, 2013, 10:19:12 AM



Title: BPDH has such vivid dreams/nightmares
Post by: SadWifeofBPD on March 25, 2013, 10:19:12 AM
I think that my BPDH has such vivid dreams/nightmares that he sometimes believes them to be true.  He has accused me of saying that his dad was an alcoholic and that he beat his mom.  I have NEVER said that.  His dad rarely EVER drank and never raised his voice to my MIL.  However, his dad was a selfish jerk and I have said that.  My FIL had many negative traits, including screaming at his kids (never his wife), and I have mentioned those to my H.  But, who needs to "make up" negative traits when there were so many real ones that I could say about my FIL.  lol   Seriously.  My FIL had enough horrid traits that no one needs to make up new ones.  That would be like making up bad things about Hitler - who would need to? 

No efforts to convince him that I never said those things about his dad worked.  I later concluded that he may have had a realistic dream where that exchange occurred.  It's the only logical explanation that I can find. 

The only other logical explanation I can come up with in regards to the ridiculous claim that I said that my FIL used to hit MIL, is this.   I once wondered why my FIL never yelled at his wife, when he yelled at everyone else.  I also wondered why my MIL was so docile and a doormat around my FIL.  So, I put forth the theory that at some point, early on in their relationship, my MIL may have witnessed my FIL raging at someone, so she quickly learned to "keep quiet", "walk on eggshells" to avoid being the target of his outbursts.  BUT, that's not the same thing as saying that he used to hit her as my H is claiming that I said. 

Anyway, not only has my H insisted that I called his dad an alcoholic and said that FIL used to hit his wife, he told his mom and family these crazy stories.  So, of course, they think I'm a lying nutjob.  lol