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Title: Kind of put things to the test Post by: benny2 on March 29, 2013, 07:54:29 AM This morning I decided to feel him out. Since he came to me a month ago telling me he wants to be with me, there has been no mention of anything since other than me coming over there at night to make him feel more secure. This morning I decided to try to see where this is headed, so I asked him if it was to soon to let him know I love him. His response was " I know that, you told me a month ago. Then several minutes later he texted me and told me he loved me to. What do I make of that? His first response was negative, which I think was his honest reaction, I was saying something he did not want to hear. I just don't know what he wants from me.
Title: Re: Kind of put things to the test Post by: waverider on March 29, 2013, 08:11:49 AM First response he was under pressure to say it, felt controlled or put on the spot so backed off. Second response was his choice he didn't have to say it, but it was a considered response. Whether it comes from deep down or just a diplomatic response only actions will tell.
The old saying actions speak louder than words is even more true with a pwBPD. Even considered opinions will be reversed in times of dysregulation Title: Re: Kind of put things to the test Post by: benny2 on March 29, 2013, 08:26:01 AM Thanks waverider, its so difficult knowing where things stand. The last couple days he has been more quiet, so I'm just not sure whats going on in his head.
Title: Re: Kind of put things to the test Post by: Auspicious on March 29, 2013, 10:09:02 AM If he actually has BPD, then probing for how he feels, especially about relationships, is unlikely to be helpful.
Most of the time, he probably doesn't even know how he feels. And it changes all the time. |