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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: jj2121 on March 30, 2013, 01:02:11 AM



Title: Relationship..an experience for a better future
Post by: jj2121 on March 30, 2013, 01:02:11 AM
I am actually beginning to look at my strange relationship that ended badly after months as good learning experience. I always knew I had low self esteem for some reason and I latched onto the first attractive girl that gave me attention. It has know given me the courage to see a therapist for the first time last week and next week she is going to discuss codependency with me. I really hope this works for me. Has anybody else improved a lot after working on these issues?


Title: Re: Relationship..an experience for a better future
Post by: Seashells on March 30, 2013, 01:55:46 AM
I think trying to help yourself and take care of yourself by going to therapy is very brave and sounds like good idea for self care.  I've not gone in years and have been considering getting up the courage (and energy) to do it myself because I feel so drained. 

When I see the things I've learned as you mention here, it does feel like a positive coming from a negative. 


Title: Re: Relationship..an experience for a better future
Post by: jj2121 on March 30, 2013, 02:03:21 AM
Just hope I can improve in my next relationship and actually meet someone I share common interests with. Another thing that bothers me is that I feel some therapists are just there to take your money, although I know all them are not like that.


Title: Re: Relationship..an experience for a better future
Post by: Surnia on March 30, 2013, 02:11:42 AM
A brave step to reach out for a T!  |iiii

Another thing that bothers me is that I feel some therapists are just there to take your money, although I know all them are not like that.

Do you say this bc you have doubts about yours?


Title: Re: Relationship..an experience for a better future
Post by: jj2121 on March 30, 2013, 02:15:02 AM
Good point. I have only met her once and it seemed good to me. It is just the way they approach at the end asking for the money, I know they have to. It was good to get everything off my chest, but how do you even know if your therapist is right for you?


Title: Re: Relationship..an experience for a better future
Post by: Surnia on March 30, 2013, 05:14:35 AM
Its a difficult question. Choosing a T is like a doctor a delicate thing.

Asking for money at the end is one thing. The other is how do you feel during the session. Do you feel she has a supporting, open interest to hear what brought you in T?


Title: Re: Relationship..an experience for a better future
Post by: jj2121 on March 30, 2013, 05:38:05 AM
yes she did seem to be quite good and understanding, I have had problems on and off with depression etc. Everything at the moment though seems to be about my last relationship which brought a lot of stuff to the surface.


Title: Re: Relationship..an experience for a better future
Post by: Surnia on March 30, 2013, 05:58:44 AM
yes she did seem to be quite good and understanding,

Than I would keep going with her right now.

Its good to have someone to look more closely what is under the surface of a shattered rs.