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Title: Extinction bursts Post by: Louise7777 on March 28, 2013, 06:09:14 PM I was given the silent treatment (by a non-BPD). At first I was confused and apologized (even though I didnt know what I had done wrong). After many more "treatments" I finally gave him an ultimatum: if you do that again, no need to talk to me any longer ever again". It worked for me so far, never happened again. Dont know if it would work with a BPD, but I suggest you search online for "silent treatment" and see the ways to cope. If I recall well, there are 3 stages, the last one is the ultimatum.
Title: Extinction bursts Post by: real lady on March 29, 2013, 06:21:15 AM I was given the silent treatment (by a non-BPD). At first I was confused and apologized (even though I didnt know what I had done wrong). After many more "treatments" I finally gave him an ultimatum: if you do that again, no need to talk to me any longer ever again". It worked for me so far, never happened again. Dont know if it would work with a BPD, but I suggest you search online for "silent treatment" and see the ways to cope. If I recall well, there are 3 stages, the last one is the ultimatum. LOL... . I understand how it might work for a non BPD but I have a problem understanding "what is so BAD" about "getting the silent treatment"... . it is the ONLY time I don't have to hear his hate, criticism, discounting and demeaning projection. He thinks he is hurting me by being "silent" ? I LOVE IT. It shows me HOW IMMATURE and HOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ILL he is to NOT be willing or able to TALK RATIONALLY without dysregulation. Once we accept them for "as they truly are", RADICAL ACCEPTANCE, I think that the "silent treatment" can be seen as BEING ABOUT THEIR INABILITY rather than "their power"... . this is a POOR attempt to "gain control". I say, let him have it, he doesn't have control over me with it... . and he or other BPDs may not see it that way but for us nons, I think that seeing this FOR WHAT IT IS... . a POWER PLAY and WITHDRAWAL, they may be using it as a coping mechanism for than an offensive weapon. It has no power to HURT us, not really. I rather like it. :) Title: Extinction bursts Post by: Louise7777 on March 29, 2013, 12:19:58 PM Real lady, you made me laugh. :) You are so right! Silent treatment, coming from a BPD, is a blessing. They can be exhausting (at least I feel exahusted when I have to deal with them).
I feel they are vampires sucking my energy, there´s no "us", its always "me" in their conversation. Turns out to be a monologue abt them, instead of a dialogue. :) Not to mention the rage outbursts! So silence and quietness is a blessing indeed. :) Title: Re: Extinction bursts Post by: Rockylove on March 30, 2013, 06:16:28 AM Misery loves company! They certainly want to make sure you are as miserable as they are. I got caught up in that before I suspected BPD, but I'm working on not playing into that hand any more.
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