|
Title: Daughter of BPD mother Post by: skelly_bean on March 31, 2013, 08:41:35 PM My mother has been unofficially diagnosed by my sister's psychotherapist who specializes in BPD. I'm just learning about the disease and reading "Surviving a Borderline Parent" right now. I am also in therapy. When I was 11 my mother moved my stuff into my father's house and disappeared and reappeared in my life sporadically after that. Her interactions with me have been largely manipulative and abusive (asking for money or calling me a 'disappointment' after I refuse to help). I am trying to learn to involve her in my life (my sister has close contact with her) without having panic attacks or feeling like my life is spinning out of control.
I think I'm making good progress and this seems like an amazing community. Looking forward to sharing and learning. Title: Re: Daughter of BPD mother Post by: Being Mindful on March 31, 2013, 09:30:58 PM Hello skelly bean,
*welcome* I'm glad you are here and sorry that you are suffering in trying to navigate your relationship with your mom. BPD is a difficult illness for the person suffering from it and for those around them. You are no longer alone by being here. This is a great group of people who understand and want to help. You describe what feels like panic attacks and that your life is spinning out of control when you are around her. I completely understand that. At our house, it is crazy making. A couple of links to get you started are: How a Mother with Borderline Personality Disorder Affects Her Children (https://bpdfamily.com/tools/articles8.htm) BPD: What is it? How can I tell? (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=63511.0) How often do you see your mom? Do you have friends and other relatives for support? Looking forward to hearing from you. Being Mindful Title: Re: Daughter of BPD mother Post by: skelly_bean on April 01, 2013, 08:54:11 AM Hi Being Mindful,
I read through those links, thank you. I think she has overlapping characteristics of high-functioning and low-functioning BPD. My sister has gently suggested she see a therapist and she shot back that my sister was the one who needed a therapist (we all do, probably) but she refuses to accept that any of her problems (inability to work, inability to maintain relationships) are due to her mental health issues. I see my mom probably once every one or two years. I moved across the country, so we don't really have the option of seeing each other. But even before that, years would pass between actually seeing one another. She keeps semi-regular contact through e-mail because she doesn't have my phone number. Recently our contact has become more frequent because my grandfather (her father) has died, and I would like to be there in some way to support her through this time because he was really the only person she had left, other than my sister - and my sister has had more than enough abuse after trying to help her. I would ideally like to help her to find some support in the mental health system because at this point my younger brother, older brother and I are all thrown into major anxiety or depression when we are in contact with her. I have a very supportive fiancee and my sister for most of my support. Thank you again for reading my story! |