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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: nolisan on April 01, 2013, 04:00:46 AM



Title: Astrology and Ritual in my BPD
Post by: nolisan on April 01, 2013, 04:00:46 AM
My ex spent a lot of time with horoscopes and the supernatural. In fact she was a Pagan witch (and a BPD witch/queen btw).

She used her Scorpio sign as an excuse for her erratic and mean behavior. she said she was a good match for my Capricorn sign. Fooey ... .   I don't believe in that stuff ... .   but i would nod my head. Disagreement was not well taken.

Scorpio traits do read like BPD but I am sure not all BPD's are Scorpio. Science 1, Astrology 0.

She also had many many rituals. I read "Betrayal Bound" by Carnes and he explained how some trauma victims get addicted to ritual and the supernatural. She had been sexually abused as a child.

I also feel these beliefs and practices gave her "identity" which she lacked.

Poor woman - very broken - very sick - and Very Bad for Me. Glad I'm out!


Title: Re: Astrology and Ritual in my BPD
Post by: trevjim on April 01, 2013, 11:53:34 AM
Yep! I've brought this point up before!

Not knocking people who believe in those things, but my ex took it really literally. I guess its the fantasy side they cling to to give them a sense of self.


Title: Re: Astrology and Ritual in my BPD
Post by: Leaf on April 01, 2013, 01:20:55 PM
I guess its the fantasy side they cling to to give them a sense of self.

That's my experience. When I first met my ex he mentioned his star sign all the time. Very often he used his star sign in sentences instead of 'I' and used it to explain his preferences and behaviours. He told me my star sign is the worst possible combination with his. This troubled him and because of that I think he never considered me a perfect match from the beginning.

When I told him I don't believe in astrology and explained to him why not and it turned out he couldn't win the argument, he all but stopped mentioning it. It popped up only about twice a year in my presence when he was talking to other women. In my experience lots of men talk about astrology on first dates or even use it in their opening line because they think women believe in it. So it's good for his sense of self and to hook fresh supply. With me he might have been mirroring my skeptical self – he's uneducated but would have liked to be a scientist.



Title: Re: Astrology and Ritual in my BPD
Post by: jaird on April 01, 2013, 01:24:05 PM
Mine claimed she was a witch too, but she never even put in the time to study Wicca. She was more enthralled by the "idea" of being a witch, and claimed that she "lit candles".

She also claimed all her rages (which she called arguments) were based on the full moon, LOL.

She also claimed to be Catholic, but believed in almost none of the church's teachings. When I pointed out her inconsistencies re:being Catholic, she said "well, I really have my own religion". That's fine, but then do not claim to be Catholic.


Title: Re: Astrology and Ritual in my BPD
Post by: nolisan on April 02, 2013, 03:17:34 AM
Thanks for your shares - for me I enjoyed the introduction into new spiritual realms - but when it became dogmatic and took away from relating I must confess it bothered me.

It felt like she was locking the door and locking me out. And it was kind of spooky - was she doing some kind of "voodoo" on me.

I know for myself I will now avoid women that are into the occult - new age spirituality is totally OK but this dark stuff - no thanks. I feel it attracts people that a fundamentally strange and broken. That might also be true of other fundamental religions lol.

I like the middle ground - BPD's and weird religions just ain't that my idea of the happy middle.

3.