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Title: how did you feel when you made the decision to permanantly leave the r/s Post by: NonBPDSpouse on April 03, 2013, 04:25:13 AM It was tough for the first 2 months and I didn't know how to feel, but after about 2 months of her moving out,
I felt a tremendous weight lift off my chest and it felt good. Nothing she can say upsets me anymore and I am looking forward to a BPD-less future... . Did anyone else feel this way? Title: Re: how did you feel when you made the decision to permanantly leave the r/s Post by: marbleloser on April 03, 2013, 08:27:33 AM Yes. I no longer dreaded pulling into the garage.I knew what I was coming home to.It was empty,but peaceful.I began to enjoy being home and having the freedom to be me.
Title: Re: how did you feel when you made the decision to permanantly leave the r/s Post by: AnalogGuy on April 03, 2013, 10:57:47 AM For me it was a rollercoaster.
I felt so relieved for the first couple of months. Then, I got depressed during the divorce proceedings and constantly hearing her lies and attempts to get back into contact. I struggled for four to six months I suppose before I *really* started to recover. That was almost 5 years ago and this last year has been the happiest of my life. So I would say be prepared for some dark moments and a lot of self pity. But know it will pass and you'll be much, much better for taking control of your own life. Title: Re: how did you feel when you made the decision to permanantly leave the r/s Post by: KE151 on April 03, 2013, 11:17:05 AM I echo analogguy.
There was an immediate feeling of relief which was soon followed by huge longing for her, feelings of loneliness, anxiety, low self worth, bad sleep, depression. I hope you continue on the positive path, but just in case you start to feel pain, remember it will pass... . you'll come out of this stronger and more self aware. Keep doing things you enjoy, try to stay social, and try not to suppress your feelings too much... . Take care! Title: Re: how did you feel when you made the decision to permanantly leave the r/s Post by: laelle on April 03, 2013, 11:19:33 AM I echo analogguy. There was an immediate feeling of relief which was soon followed by huge longing for her, feelings of loneliness, anxiety, low self worth, bad sleep, depression. I hope you continue on the positive path, but just in case you start to feel pain, remember it will pass... . you'll come out of this stronger and more self aware. Keep doing things you enjoy, try to stay social, and try not to suppress your feelings too much... . Take care! What he said. Title: Re: how did you feel when you made the decision to permanantly leave the r/s Post by: LuckyEscapee on April 03, 2013, 08:19:44 PM Relief, confusion, anger, peace, happiness.
Still learning though, about BPD, and myself along the way. Title: Re: how did you feel when you made the decision to permanantly leave the r/s Post by: Maryiscontrary on April 03, 2013, 09:54:17 PM Just before the decision, I was thinking that I could not live life in the present state. The terms had become non negotiable. The situation had become unbearable. I just could not believe it.
I knew if he did not get help, and solutions were found, pronto, I could not hold out much longer. Huge relief. Severe crushing PTSD and all the nice bugs that come with that. I thought then, "what an idiot, throwing his best friend and his loved business away". I try to change places with him. Even if I was psychotic amd very mentally ill, I would have fought tooth and nail to keep my marriage and my business together. He just gave up. So the shock of the loss of such a wonderful partnership. That is what happened. That is how I felt. Title: Re: how did you feel when you made the decision to permanantly leave the r/s Post by: draft on April 04, 2013, 05:02:04 PM Numb, ignoring, relief, anger, pain, sad, hopeless, clarity, happiness
Back and forth a few times. It's been about half a year. |