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Title: decisions always in favor of my PwBPD Post by: Not2Crazy on April 03, 2013, 05:21:39 AM Whenever I have a budget decision such as to buy something for $500 and my pwBPD also wants something for $500 my pwBPD will say " You should get your something" and when I do will go get her something anyway.
Sometimes my pwBPD will want and get something that could have waited but Often, "that thing" that my pwBPD buys is not worth the money but is something "pushed" for some future value like "have the songs you wrote recorded by Nashville artists and sold to big name publishers" or take this seminar or give us your money to go to heaven. So I am always "set up" as the selfish uninspired one. The decision part was meaningless. I don't mean that my pwBPD had enough to buy these things too but the decision that was made was not a decision that's how I mean to say this. Is this your experience too? Not having unlimited wealth is your fault . You spent the money the wrong way for that? right? That's how your life with your pwBPD is like mine too isn't it? Because if the money is not sufficient for them to do what they want it's your fault? Anyone try to explain that to relatives about why you never have any money or how things never work in your relationship. Am I on the right board? Title: Re: decisions always in favor of my PwBPD Post by: briefcase on April 04, 2013, 03:24:00 PM Money issues are pretty common in these relationships. And, also, having money issues can cause relationship problems even in non-BPD relationships. It helps to maintain some control over your finances and not let your partner's poor money management get you in trouble.
Title: Re: decisions always in favor of my PwBPD Post by: Not2Crazy on April 05, 2013, 07:44:38 AM yes sad wife that's what I am talking about. I didn't think I am alone or that anyone in any other relationship was alone in this aspect of marriage but I hoped that more people would have responded with their story because with my pwBPD i.e. my ex wife, not only did she do this but this was her motivation to ok any purchase decision where I was the prime recipient, it meant to her that she could point to this when she went ahead and got that.
I wonder if budget is a joke to everyone with a pwBPD? can you really say to your spouse "you get no money responsibility" and yes she didn't bring in any because she quit all her jobs claiming her employers were bad people taking unfair advantage of her being tardy and inability to take orders or accept that she was wrong. |