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Title: good example of yearning for the idealization phase Post by: imstronghere2 on April 03, 2013, 11:03:42 PM I just read a note I sent to a friend back on 4/30/2011 about how my exwBPD was getting out with me again and how nice it was. That she was "finally coming back around to the person she was when we were dating" and "if you ride the wave long enough, it will eventually come back around your way". I had no idea at that time that she had been having an affair for about a month by then. What I thought was her getting back to who she was when we were dating (which was 20 years prior to this) was my yearning for the idealization phase again. She was in the idealization phase alright but it wasn't for me.
Yes, history does repeat itself with them, just not for us and eventually not for their next victim either. Title: Re: good example of yearning for the idealization phase Post by: Leaf on April 04, 2013, 04:24:19 AM I had no idea at that time that she had been having an affair for about a month by then. What I thought was her getting back to who she was when we were dating (which was 20 years prior to this) was my yearning for the idealization phase again. I've always been good at spotting liars, phonies and hypocrites and in work situations I knew how to handle them. But with my BPD (w/NPD traits)xbf all those qualities left me and they were replaced with one giant sign saying "I WANT TO BELIEVE". Only when he got me angry enough to hack his mail I found out he had been cheating two years earlier. When I had the facts in black and white I got some sense back. He probably cheated more often but I'm glad I don't have evidence. I think I would still find it difficult to handle that. Maybe it was those times that he was in a really good mood and I was thinking things were going great between us. He might have been feeling superior because he was fooling me and I didn't have a clue. |