BPDFamily.com

My uBPD waif friend is always broke.  Always.  And I don't mean $50 in the bank account broke... .     I'm talking about maxed out credit cards in collections, defaulted loans, multiple checking account overdrafts, living off the coins in his car broke.  I know if I lived this way, I'd be a nervous wreck.  I sense that it weighs heavily on his mind, but he doesn't talk about things so if it is bothering him, he never directly addresses it with me.  When he does get a little money, he drinks or uses drugs or gambles or somehow spends it foolishly making the situation worse than it was before he got paid.  It's a joke.

I look back, though, and I realize that it's not just money, it's most of the decisions that he makes.  He always seems to sabotage any possible success that he could have.  One step forward, ten steps back.

I'll give a few examples... .  

Had a chance at an education but blew that multiple times.  Would have a semester of great grades, then more semesters of almost all F's.  He was on a scholarship but that's long gone.  All he has to show for that now is a terrible GPA and school loan debt.

He was basically given a car.  He doesn't take care of it and has pretty much torn it up.

He'll buy things that he ends up having to pawn because he really can't afford it in the first place.

He has to be in a relationship at all times, but he cheats on the girl he's dating and eventually gets caught and everything blows up.  Personal life always ends up in a disaster.

He will make stupid decisions like renting a townhouse by himself instead of getting a roommate and spending much more in rent than he ever should.  It eats up his paycheck and he can never get ahead.

He is in a dead end job and not even making ends meet but will waste the little money he does earn on things like fishing trips or expensive meals and literally not be able to pay the water bill so that gets shut off.

This behavior makes no sense to me.  Is this common with BPD?  Do they often have a lifetime of misery financially, too?  I know if this were me, living in that situation would have me so depressed and hopeless, I wouldn't know what to do.  But in his case, it's all self inflicted.  Every bit of it!

I think pwBPDs are different in case of financial matters. Mine has been very careful all her life about saving and has a hefty retirement account. She is frugal except spending on travel to other countries. She is overly cautious about spending as she has lot of insecurity, pessimism and fear of being poor in old age.

Maybe it's feast or famine when it comes to BPDs and money.  Perhaps part of the "all or nothing" attitude... .  

I just can't help but think what my friend is going to experience as he gets older.  Life inevitably gets more expensive and requires more financial discipline, not less.  I guess a college kid could kind of get by on that lifestyle for a little while, but that's no way for a grown man to live.

My ex did just this. As long as Ive known her, she's struggled with financial problems, and it's only gotten worse. She used to have an amazing job. Now Im not even sure she's capable of holding anything down anymore. Not to mention, she's thousands in debt because of loans she took out for school before her parents stepped in and are now paying her last semester of class. Im not even sure she's making any attempt to find work anymore.

 in my case my husband is very much a penny pincher, he just started a new job, a better job after 14 years of one job, and saves real well.

every BPD is differnt .