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Last night was a friends birthday party. He was NOT on the guest list, but somehow found out about the party, and reached out to my friend's wife to let her know he couldnt make it. He wasn't invited in the first place!

Also, I found out last night, he's been coming around the places my friends go on a regular basis - by himself. I'm hearing he's always alone, and seems spacey and weird. He even went so far as to tell another friend of mine "I bet you hate me... .   " when she said a simple hello.

Is he a sociopath as well, or just really, really, really stupid to be doing this? My friends won't be rude to him - by any means - but they're not going out of their way to invite him places!

After hearing this, I have the gut feeling I may run into him tonight ... .   is it silly of me to want to leave work a little bit early, and really put myself together so I look amazing? Hell, i've lost 40 pounds since he took off ... .   and treated myself to a new tattoo - maybe show off a little?

Be careful, lostkitten. It could be attempts for recycling. Showing at places not being invited has something like stalking for me.

Yet another "recycle" thread! Just add it to the 99% of the other ones on here. Wish my ex even acknowledged my existance in ANY way shape or form. Must be nice!

Dave!

Trust me, contact is the worst

I've had about 4 attempts of contact, not about me mind, was all about him

Ranging from telling me what I want to hear, to abuse and being nasty

And guess what, I ignored it. And so far has left me alone (4 weeks). Because what he said all them times of contact, meant nothing

Contact means NOTHING, just remember that

Alright, guys, off to read about recycling!

Lostkitten you go girl. Make up for lost time kitten!

Is this really recycling?. My ex has forlornly phoned a friend of mine on Chirstmas day leaving a tragic messgae on their answerphone, has told two friends who met him in the supermarket that he is mentally ill... .   decided to go to a carol concert that I had arranged to go to with family ( as I knew he was on his way I decided not to go, which was a big disappoinment). Seems like in your case they do not have the courage to face you but leave their "mark" by contacting mutual friends even though this behaviour can make other people feel uncomfortable. Recycling is when they bowl you over with pleas to win you back? Spacey and weird, yes I recognise that description, when the lights are on but noones at home? Do they know they are being weird? They get a kick out of it. Who would recycle someone who behaved like that. Who would go back to their ex because of guilt and feeling sorry for them? Just makes me sure that I made the right decision. You too lostkitten.

A lot of what we can interpret as recycling is really poor boundaries and emotional impulsivity.

Sure he could be priming you for an eventual recycle.

It also looks like he doesn't know boundaries and social appropriateness.  Think back to relationship - I'd bet you've seen this before.

One of the deficits for a person with BPD is a lack of boundaries/identity. 

This is exactly what it is. He didnt show up, but made it a point to text friends of mine to let them know he wasnt coming. (Nobody cared or talked to him about it in the first place). Hes been reaching out to my friends about getting together. Hes been posting/commenting/liking EVERYTHING  my friends post on facebook, and anything I chime in on. He is getting ignored. Its like hes a little kid, begging to be "cool" - which is something I had noticed a few times before, when we were together, but shrugged it off. Now, it seems like hes doing anything to stay noticed - even though he refuses to talk to me, and hasnt reached out in a week.