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Title: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone... Post by: Lovingwife315 on April 08, 2013, 04:15:29 PM Yet in the entire time I have known him ( 18 years) and in from what I know about before we met, he has NEVER been alone! But he really believes he is more "comfortable" alone... .
Any thoughts? His GF who was the OW in our marriage, lives 3000 miles away and they see each other maybe once a month... . maybe that realationship is more comfortable for him than a wife and family that loves him and supports him... . Title: Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone... Post by: mtmc01 on April 08, 2013, 04:44:57 PM My ex told me she needed to be alone and couldn't be in a relationship right now. Then she immediately started seeing another guy.
Words =/= Actions Title: Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone... Post by: Surnia on April 08, 2013, 10:55:13 PM Lovingwife
I hear your pain and hurting! Comparing ... . is something we all do and often it is something not so nice for ourselves. And furthermore what he is telling you is perhaps not the whole truth... . So I would focus more on yourself. How is your life right now? Do you have friends or new projects? Title: Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone... Post by: Lovingwife315 on April 09, 2013, 10:07:04 AM I have a very good/strong support system. I have family and friends, I have a meaningful career, I am in IC with a great therapist, and love my life with my children... . why in the world do I feel incomplete without my husband? I have yet to be about to disengage with him and make it only kid related stuff... . I think to text him whenever anything happens etc.
When will this stop? I guess I am even worried that when I finally get there , he will come back, and that my love for him will make me "forget" all he has put me and the kids thru... . Title: Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone... Post by: Surnia on April 09, 2013, 03:17:12 PM Lovingwife
give yourself time! You were in a long rs. It needs time to heal, time to reframe the thoughts. Its okay to miss him and its even better to be with friends, work, t. It will get better. And should he call one day: We are here for you. Title: Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone... Post by: daze on April 09, 2013, 03:23:42 PM Lovingwife,
Excerpt I have yet to be about to disengage with him and make it only kid related stuff... . I think to text him whenever anything happens etc. 18 years is a long time. It would be next to impossible to just turn it off. I'm sorry for your pain. |