BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: nowwhatz on April 10, 2013, 09:50:44 AM



Title: Bumped Into Ex GF Last Night
Post by: nowwhatz on April 10, 2013, 09:50:44 AM
Hi Everyone.

I have been doing pretty decent going through detachment for the last 2 months from on/off 2 year r/s with udBPDexgf.  

The history has been "off" for 45-90 days then she calls and I get sucked in for 45-90 days of you know what.

The 60 day mark for the start of "off" was this weekend so the time was getting ripe for her to call me.

As fate would have it I almost literally bumped into her at the casino last night. I turned the corner after coming out of the men's room and was suddenly face to face with her. After 2 years of unbelievable drama I was not surprised by this chance meeting.

I almost didn't recognize her... .   looked like she had put on some weight and her hair was now blonde. She asked how I was doing and we exchanged small talk for about 2-3 minutes.

She asked if I was winning at the casino and I said no then she said "oh probably because I am here."  I ignored that as I thought it was some kind of BPD lingo to try to hook me into a deeper conversation, and finished the small talk and I said nice to see you I have to go... .   then she put out her hand for a handshake (which was a little strange) so I shook her hand (it was very cold) and said bye and left.

Nice thing is I feel I kept the surprise chit chat indifferent and detached, felt no attraction to her, and have no ill or uncomfortable feelings about it now.

I can't say with assurance this meeting signals a final end to the madness as the history is the history but I feel good about how I handled it.



Title: Re: Bumped Into Ex GF Last Night
Post by: causticdork on April 10, 2013, 10:48:46 AM
Congrats!  Running into an ex you're not in contact with is always an interesting experience.  Mine does those little baiting comments too ( stuff like, "Oh, it's fine, I wouldn't be attracted to me either" and I've found that ignoring them completely is the only thing that helps. 

Good luck not getting sucked back in.  Those cycles are vicious, but you're clearly heading in the right direction.



Title: Re: Bumped Into Ex GF Last Night
Post by: GlennT on April 10, 2013, 11:04:10 AM
Oh, you will ruminate a little, and remember the coldness, but I'll now bet the farm, you 've now passed over that huge mile-stone in your heart, where she will remain a cold, sad, memory.


Title: Re: Bumped Into Ex GF Last Night
Post by: Mightyhammers on April 10, 2013, 11:09:48 AM
Personally I would have taken her by the hand and gave her what for in the toilet cubicle before saying goodbye, but that’s just me lol