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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: MakeItHappen on April 10, 2013, 01:07:00 PM



Title: After 3 months, I was contacted - What to do?
Post by: MakeItHappen on April 10, 2013, 01:07:00 PM
It's been about 3 months of NC. Out of nowhere, my exBPD/NPD contacted me a few days ago. I have not responded.

I really thought, I would NEVER hear from her again. At least, not this soon.

My exBPD/NPD IS in a relationship with someone else.

As some other posters have said:"The likely only reason they would contact us anyway is because their supply is running low."

Care to share your thoughts? Similar experiences? What you did?

Thanks.


Title: Re: After 3 months, I was contacted - What to do?
Post by: seeking balance on April 10, 2013, 01:10:44 PM
Yeah, it can be a bit shocking when they come out of the blue.  First, simply breathe and get quiet with yourself.  Where are you emotionally?  Are you detached?

This contact is a great gauge as to where you are emotionally.

Obviously, you are the only one who knows whether you want to respond... .   if you do, unless you are totally detached with zero expectation, your world is about to get a bit unstable again.


Title: Re: After 3 months, I was contacted - What to do?
Post by: paperlung on April 10, 2013, 01:27:49 PM
How did she get a hold of you?

Stay safe, OP.


Title: Re: After 3 months, I was contacted - What to do?
Post by: laelle on April 10, 2013, 02:00:09 PM
That their supply is running low is a little harsh, its more like they "NEED" something and they see you as the one to provide that for them.

Therefore... .   tada... .   your turned good again.  If you act as the idealized boyfriend/girlfriend should you will get a big cookie and some idealization to go with it.  Its not intentional manipulation, its a means of survival.

If you ignore them, they may make attempts to FOG you, but if you stay firm, they will go find someone else who might be more willing to fill their NEEDS