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I love the concept that having been through a traumatic experience, it doesn't necessarily mean being scarred for life; more studies being done on the concept of posttraumatic growth. It's not new, it just doesn't get as much press as the negative side of post-trauma.

POSTTRAUMATIC GROWTH: A Brief Overview: https://ptgi.uncc.edu/what-is-ptg/

What is posttraumatic growth? It is positive change experienced as a result of the struggle with a major life crisis or a traumatic event. Although we coined the term posttraumatic growth, the idea that human beings can be changed by their encounters with life challenges, sometimes in radically positive ways, is not new. The theme is present in ancient spiritual and religious traditions, literature, and philosophy. What is reasonably new is the systematic study of this phenomenon by psychologists, social workers, counselors, and scholars in other traditions of clinical practice and scientific investigation.

What forms does posttraumatic growth take? Posttraumatic growth tends to occur in five general areas. Sometimes people who must face major life crises develop a sense that new opportunities have emerged from the struggle, opening up possibilities that were not present before. A second area is a change in relationships with others. Some people experience closer relationships with some specific people, and they can also experience an increased sense of connection to others who suffer. A third area of possible change is an increased sense of one’s own strength – “if I lived through that, I can face anything”. A fourth aspect of posttraumatic growth experienced by some people is a greater appreciation for life in general. The fifth area involves the spiritual or religious domain. Some individuals experience a deepening of their spiritual lives, however, this deepening can also involve a significant change in one’s belief system.


Some Clarifications

Most of us, when we face very difficult losses or great suffering, will have a variety of highly distressing psychological reactions. Just because individuals experience growth does not mean that they will not suffer. Distress is typical when we face traumatic events.

We most definitely are not implying that traumatic events are good – they are not. But for many of us, life crises are inevitable and we are not given the choice between suffering and growth on the one hand, and no suffering and no change, on the other.

Posttraumatic growth is not universal. It is not uncommon, but neither does everybody who faces a traumatic event experience growth.

Our hope is that you never face a major loss or crisis, but most of us eventually do, and perhaps you may also experience an encounter with posttraumatic growth.

MaybeSo, thank you for posting this, it resonates with me.  Perhaps I am simply an optimist, but being one year away from my traumatic r/s and breakup, I definitely feel positive changes blossoming inside of me.  I think the biggest changes are in the realm of acceptance and a feeling of self-value.   I'm learning to take care of myself emotionally, and it's really sweet. 

Lots more to explore, though!   Who knows what other goodies will come with time?      

Dear MaybeSo,

Thank you for posting this different spin on responses to trauma.  I like the optimistic outcome of growth following trauma rather than the easily construed negative outcome of scarring.  I appreciate the reminder that I can choose to accept life as a glass half full rather than a glass half empty.   :)

While I do not feel grateful for the past traumas in my life, I am grateful that God is guiding my gradual healing.  I am grateful for therapy, anti-depressants, and a capacity to love and care for myself.  The first three steps in the twelve-step recovery process give me a leg up on healing from codependency.

Warm regards!