BPDFamily.com

So my BPDw has gone to Landmark forum (EST based) to gain some "skills" knowing this is her last ditch effort knowing that I am on my way out.  She has gone to the first one with limited success. She uses the words but not fully getting it.  She was talking a a friend the other night about gas lighting not realizing she does that very frequently. So much so the our children s14-d16 know to protect themselves from it. I have to ask them after a conversation how it actually went and what was said. My son has become particularly  surly about it.

SOO my question is( I think I know the answer) does the BPD ever get it? Is there ever a long term noticeable change in them?

BPD isn't about "getting it" - most pwBPD are very intelligent.  It is an emotional issue that needs treatment teaching skills on dealing with over-active emotions.  Over time with proper therapy, the BPD behaviors can be diluted or gone away.  The brain neurons for the maladaptive coping skills a literally rewired.

Again, it has nothing to do with "getting it".  It is like reading a bunch of books on diet and exercise, yet being over-weight because you never practice the tools with a trainer or nutritionist.

Mine went to 12 step meetings for 23 years - AlAnon, CoDA and ACA and never "got it". Think she was doing "13th Stepping" - looking for other wounded souls to fill her abandonment needs.

As she is now attending a seminar now... .   She talks like it is impact-full and she is getting "it", and having some break throughs. Then is in the next breath crazy. Threats to sue me  The intermittent reinforcement of that sometimes sane behavior almost gets me again. Hoping for that sane person to stick around, because I can live with her. But I know not going to happen. So I will take that semi sane person and keep moving forward with divorce plans.

It is like an alcoholic. Really sorry for her actions, but doing them again and again. So maybe not sorry?