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Title: E-mail from my mother, help Post by: lipsticklibrarian on April 20, 2013, 09:53:03 AM My mum just sent me this e-mail out of the blue, need some help deciding what to do, does it seem manipulative to you? Should i respond?
Just woke up to a beautiful spring day. What a treat. Birds are singing and the yellow forsythia is out in full bloom. When I went for a pee I looked at that little tiny framed photo of you with the chair of governors at your school receiving your prize. I remember that your teacher had specifically called me to make sure I was going to be there. I did not know that you were going to get a prize. Afterwards when I asked you how it felt I expected you to smile and be really pleased but instead you described this very strange feeling of your name repeating in your head and while you opened the little door at the end of the pews your ears were thumping. I hope that your boss is appreciating my little girl today working hard. Title: Re: E-mail from my mother, help Post by: Rbrdkyst4 on April 21, 2013, 12:39:11 PM Sounds like a fishing line with a hook on it trying to get a response and then she'll pounce. Trying to bring up some random memory that you may or may not remember yourself.
Title: Re: E-mail from my mother, help Post by: P.F.Change on April 21, 2013, 05:06:09 PM What I hear is:
"I have no idea who I am on my own or what my worth is as a human being. I remembered today while I was peeing (BTW, don't you love how I feel so comfortable throwing that little unnecessary detail in... . it must be great thinking of me having a pee) that there was once a time in my life when I felt important because my child accomplished something. I thought it was really strange that she didn't have the exact same feelings I did. Huh. Hey, do you think you might be able to accomplish something else so that I can feel worthwhile again? Please validate for me that I deserve to exist. " I don't think this is anything you need to worry about responding to, unless you would like to be used by your mother and like being the one she expects to regulate her emotions. Hope that helps. Wishing you peace, PF Title: Re: E-mail from my mother, help Post by: Marcia on April 21, 2013, 09:04:46 PM I think P.F. nailed it. This is about her, and not about you. A remembrance of how much she enjoyed the attention garnered from your accomplishment--in my experience that is rather common. I think it is fairly strange (peeing) disrespectful and it's not really clear to me how you could or would respond... .
They do know how to rattle us, don't they?. A very well developed skill... . Title: Re: E-mail from my mother, help Post by: lipsticklibrarian on May 04, 2013, 08:05:10 AM Thanks for the advice, I've always been rather average when it came to academia and I had the pressure put upon me to 'be the best.' I remember when I received the prize she's talking about in the picture she stood up out of her seat, punched the ceiling and shouted 'My Girl!'
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