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Title: obligation to my x in-laws? Post by: ComoLu on April 20, 2013, 10:03:12 PM My uxBPDH has power of attorney over his dying mother's finances. He helped himself generously to our bank accounts before he left me, and I found out how seriously disturbed he was. He has mentioned several times that he "borrowed" money from his mother (including in court), but he makes a very good living and should not need money from anyone else, except that excessive spending is one of his symptoms. No one in his family has reached out to me, and we were never particularly close. I do not think that they are aware of his BPD. They have are all in denial about everything all the time. Should I let them know my concerns or mind mine own business? I have no concrete proof, but I wish someone had told me what he was doing behind my back.
Title: Re: obligation to my x in-laws? Post by: Matt on April 21, 2013, 02:05:01 PM Focus on your own issues, make sure you are OK, and get as much distance as you can from your ex.
If his family reaches out to you, you can be very open with them, but make sure it's what you know, not what you suspect, and that you are only telling them what they ask, and not pushing information they don't want. Title: Re: obligation to my x in-laws? Post by: Forward2free on April 21, 2013, 11:38:53 PM In my experience, NBPDxh's family were in complete denial about NBPDxh's circumstances and would not accept what anyone told them, including the police and other professionals. I became their scapegoat and they seem to blame everything on the last one through the door... .
Matt is right, focus on yourself and being safe and well and don't expect to hear anything from X in-laws. My x-inlaws and both x-brother in-laws with whom I was close, have not contacted my since 2009 and never once called to see if the children were ok. To me, its as if they acknowledge the truth privately but will not acknowledge it publicly. Title: Re: obligation to my x in-laws? Post by: ComoLu on April 22, 2013, 12:03:28 AM Matt and Kormilda,
Thanks for the advice. I had already figured that it wouldn't end well, especially because I don't know what, if anything, my x has told them. His mother said that she was glad we were getting a divorce because she never liked me (even after 30+ years of effort on my part). I just know that his brother and sister are always short on funds, and they will be very unhappy if he has looted his mother's accounts like he did our marital ones. You are right. They are in denial about everything, and they don't even like each other, but I hoped to find a way to avoid their being blindsided like I was. |