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I'll be honest - I have this worry about our summer softball schueduel.  My daughter is on a competative softball team that I coach.  We play pretty much all weekend every weekend.  Here's my worry - I don't know if I can handle seeing my stbexw at the games - I still have a lot of hard feelings, resentment, and hurt about all she had said and done, and everytime I see her it sets me back.  Any advise from anyone on how it would be best to handle this situation?  We are always cordial around the kids - but that is normally for a minute or two - but here it will be for hours on hours

Pay no attention to her. Pay attention to your child and coaching the game and cheering on the team. Good luck. Hope things get better over time (and they will)

Cal, it maybe a temporary setback however we can learn from any interactions.

Overtime it becomes less of a hit. If you see her, check in with you, pause and center and calm your thoughts. Remind yourself you are there for your child - she deserves your energy and attention.

Triggering and Mindfulness and Wise Mind (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64749.0)

I coach my kiddos as well and yes,she's there.motherof1 is right.Concentrate on the kids and the game.You'll find that you really don't have time for her anyway if your coaching is like mine.lol

Yes, I have to see my ex three times a week for kids events. I tried ignoring her, I tried hiding from her and other things that didn't work so well. I never felt good about myself when I tried those things. Then, I tried just being nice. No overly nice but nice like I am to everone else. This seems to work the best for me. I feel better about myself and it seems to defuse her defenses as well. The kids really like it better too.