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Title: Unexpected feelings after 1 month NC Post by: PM10 on April 22, 2013, 12:15:25 PM Okay, so this is far from the FIRST time I have gone NC with my ex, but it is most assuredly the last. I sealed it this time with involvement of the police.
I never thought it would be easy. As a matter of fact, I thought it would be very hard, as it has each time in the past. I always feel so empty. This time it's different. It's hard in a different way. This time my pain, my angst, has little to do with him. At least consciously. This time, I am just horribly insecure about EVERYONE ELSE! I have always been an insecure person, and have always felt that people don't like me, and that I am not talented. For the past 2 1/2 years those feelings all got concentrated towards him, I guess. Everything else seemed less important, so I did not worry so much about what people thought about me or my talent. Well, I have finally gotten so that I don't focus on him (yay me!) but now I am focused on everyone else and what they think, and making a general nusance of myself asking them all te time if they like me, or if I am doing a good job. Advice? Thoughts? Title: Re: Unexpected feelings after 1 month NC Post by: Surnia on April 22, 2013, 12:32:14 PM So familiar, PM10.
This was one of the things about codependency, at least for me: I can forget about my daily struggle with myself, feeling insecure, worried about mistakes and what people think. In my opinion: We can unlearn this things. Not in 10 days but with steady practice it gets better. My steps are: Minimizing negative self talk More validation for myself Refraiming thoughts about concerns/anxiety Great you could recognize this things. Thats the first and most important step! |iiii Title: Re: Unexpected feelings after 1 month NC Post by: hithere on April 22, 2013, 01:11:55 PM Excerpt Advice? Thoughts? Go to therapy and work on yourself, hang-out with friends and family you trust and have good history with. Make a conscious effort not to ask people these questions. |