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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: LostSunshine on April 22, 2013, 09:06:20 PM



Title: I'm a little confused
Post by: LostSunshine on April 22, 2013, 09:06:20 PM
The move hasn't happened yet... .   and i've been spending time distancing myself emotionally.  Keeping busy, seeing friends, spending time with kids WITHOUT her coming along.

However yesterday, she got upset with me because i was being "cold and distant again".  Why would this matter to her anyways?  She even was attempting to gauge my reaction to her choosing to leave yesterday to go to her friend's house (the lesbian ex she left home for 6 years ago) and when I showed no reaction she accused me of being too distant again! 

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!

It's like she wants me close to her... .   or perhaps better term to be chasing after her, but she doesn't want me?  Or does she?  My head is spinning here!


Title: Re: I'm a little confused
Post by: Clearmind on April 22, 2013, 10:18:49 PM
She fears abandonment, intimacy and engulfment = push/pull.

Lost, my suggestion would be to continue on your path and what you want to do in this relationship rather than reacting to her push/pull. This will send you spare.