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All:


I am feeling it today pretty bad probably the worst I have ever felt it, struggling to put one foot in front of the other.  I was NC for about 1 month from my exBPDgf of 2.5 years then she texted me telling me she was so glad she had the balls to end it with me because it was claearly over.  This came as a response to a mutual friend seeing me with a female friend out. 

She had liked a few of my things on social media this week and then this wknd I texted her like an idiot and barrage insued the killer blow was her telling me that "I am dating someone else and last week he already gave me his iPhone password something you couldnt do for me." Then barrage started of her insulting me and blaming me as the reason why we didn't work. She told me move on becuase we were finished.  I am debilitated today, I dont think I have ever felt this bad I feel as if I have fallen of a cliff.  I feel like I dont have a heart the years of verbal, emotional and occasional physical abuse have destroyed me and it is all coming to grips now.  She is already with someone else and I cant even fathom attempting to create a bond with anyone else.

I was always the happiest person on earth now I am struggling to sleep and function. I am seeing a T but I am not sure how much it can help me.  Thanks all

Hang in there Trampledfoot.

Healing from this takes time and is a series of ups/downs depending upon how many triggers we expose ourselves to.  Think of it as a really bad cut - you get stitches (no contact) and that helps it heal, slowly but healing.  Contact is like taking the stitches out before it has healed... .   might not hurt at first, but eventually, it will rip the cut open and you will be somewhat back to square 1.

Keep seeing your T - this will help.  Also, I find that simply accepting you might feel like this for a bit helps - you are hurting deeply, do the basics - eat, sleep, exercise, see friends - with time the wounds will heal.

Peace,

SB

Seeking balance thanks for the advice. 

I jsut purged every picture and blocked everyone that is a mutual friend of ours on all forms of social media.  It has made me feel a bit better.

Boy that's harsh... .   But she sounds really lame, childish and pathetic about iPhone passwords and putting you down? It's ridiculous of course but I know it hurts just the same.

She will not last with whomever she is with and try to hold onto that.

And good idea to remove as much contact as possible.

My ex and I last about 1-2 days before unfriending... .   I can't think of a worse punishment than being her Facebook friend... .   we have no mutual friends as we live very far from each other... .

Stay Strong!

Block her number or change yours, dude.

I can't be certain but if it were my ex who said those things to me it would be purely because she was trying to hurt me and makes it obvious she's not in a happy place in her life (not that we should be jealous of that anyway)

But she was hurting and wanted to hurt you and in my view can't really take to heart anything they say because there's nothing real behind it. Just outbursts. Either nice or cruel outbursts.

My ex has a nicely arranged triangle with two others right now. One guy she sleeps with another she gets her emotional support from. You get to the point where that doesn't bother you much any more though every now and then it can sting.

I think the important thing is to just focus on what makes you happy and hat is good for you.

My ex didn't make me happy and she sure as heck wasn't good for me.

I have a better chance of finding peace of mind and treating myself well and becoming the person I want to be if I just try to take one forward step after another. Even if its at snail's pace. The end goal will draw nearer

I just blocked her calls and txts. thanks for the encouragement.  I wish we didnt live close but we do the only a few miles apart Ill just avoid all of her normal hang outs as I wasnt really too found of them anyways.