|
Title: Medium Chill Post by: Beachbumforlife on April 24, 2013, 10:07:52 AM Do a lot of you employ this with success? And if so, have you found it useful in other areas of your life as well simply by knowing the tecnique. For example with a difficult co-worker or something?
Title: Re: Medium Chill Post by: lbjnltx on April 24, 2013, 11:48:29 AM Wise mind (mindfulness) and validation are much more healthy skills to use for non's as well as for the person with BPD.
(https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/images/mb/mindfulness.gif) More information here... . (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64749.0) Title: Re: Medium Chill Post by: Beachbumforlife on April 24, 2013, 01:10:20 PM Thank you so much for responding lbjnltx! I will take a look at that link.
What do you mean though by validation? Is that part of this 'wise mind'? Title: Re: Medium Chill Post by: lbjnltx on April 24, 2013, 01:32:57 PM Validation is a communication skill to improve the relationship. In it's most effective state validation:
lets them know they are heard and understood can create within them a more calm state helps us to stay focused on being present in the moment w/out problem solving or becoming emotionally distraught can lead to the opportunity to present validating questions which in turn keeps the problem solving responsibility with them where it belongs when they come up with their own solutions they are empowered The best resource for learning the art of validation I have found: "I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better" (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=128027.0) Here is a workshop on validation to get you started while you wait for the book :): Communication: Validation Tools and Techniques (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation) Title: Re: Medium Chill Post by: Beachbumforlife on April 24, 2013, 01:45:40 PM Oh wow, thank you again. I'll check out that book. And the link, I'll explore further. At quick glance it looked very useful. Maybe I need to self validate too. I could use some of that. Maybe I'll start a thread on it. :)
Title: Re: Medium Chill Post by: lbjnltx on April 24, 2013, 01:53:12 PM Oh wow, thank you again. I'll check out that book. And the link, I'll explore further. At quick glance it looked very useful. Maybe I need to self validate too. I could use some of that. Maybe I'll start a thread on it. :) Self validation is imperative in order to affectively and authentically validate others. Once you get a handle on what that means to you and how to go about doing it hosting a thread would a good idea |iiii Title: Re: Medium Chill Post by: Beachbumforlife on April 24, 2013, 02:02:28 PM Oh wow, thank you again. I'll check out that book. And the link, I'll explore further. At quick glance it looked very useful. Maybe I need to self validate too. I could use some of that. Maybe I'll start a thread on it. :) Self validation is imperative in order to affectively and authentically validate others. Once you get a handle on what that means to you and how to go about doing it hosting a thread would a good idea |iiii Oops. I might have jumped the gun then. {blush}. But hopefully others will chime in with some good suggestions to get me started. :) Title: Re: Medium Chill Post by: lbjnltx on April 24, 2013, 02:13:39 PM lol
Not so much "jumping the gun" as needing enough info to ask relevant questions and guide a valuable discussion. You can do it! |iiii Title: Re: Medium Chill Post by: Beachbumforlife on April 24, 2013, 02:14:50 PM lol Not so much "jumping the gun" as needing enough info to ask relevant questions and guide a valuable discussion. You can do it! |iiii Thanks lbjnltx! |