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Title: Why am I surprised? Post by: PM10 on April 25, 2013, 10:11:22 PM Like a lot of you here, I was having a heck of a time detaching from my ex. I would tell him definitively that it was over, block him, go NC, and then he would make up a new email address and contact me, and I would get sucked back in. The crazy thing too is that I would refuse to see him. So I was just sucked back in to manipulative, abusive email conversations that would always escalate and end up with him threatening me, and me blocking him.
A little over a month ago I went to the police for advice. He called me while I was there, and the officer answered and told him that if he ever contacted me again, that would be stalking and harassment, and he would be arrested. Today he sent me a message from a fake Facebook account. I don't know why I was surprised, but I was. He didn't say much. Just that he was glad I was doing better (which makes no sense- how does he know I'm doing better?), he asked me please not to have him arrested, that he now knows I don't want him in my life, and he is giving up (um, not so obviously, or he wouldn't have sent the message!) So, I now feel like I have to go to the police, right? I mean, I really, really don't want to, but what does it say to him if I don't? Do you think I am safe to just ignore this? Thanks for any advice! Title: Re: Why am I surprised? Post by: Clearmind on April 25, 2013, 10:58:49 PM PM, was it recorded the first time you went to see the police?
He is acting immaturely - sending you a message to say he won't be sending you any more messages. Don't respond would be my suggestion. Title: Re: Why am I surprised? Post by: laelle on April 26, 2013, 04:16:22 AM I agree with Clearmind... . He is definately pushing your boundary of his not contacting you by contacting you then asking not to have him arrested for contacting you.
Its a dare of sorts... . or really really bad impulse control. That was a mouthful. :) I have no clue how to even punctuate that run on sentence. Title: Re: Why am I surprised? Post by: PM10 on April 26, 2013, 08:49:12 AM It was reported with the police when he took the call.
I will definitely not respond, but I fear that will not be enough. He does have very poor impulse control, so he will most likely try again, if there is no consequence to this time. He is baiting me. He says "I know now that you no longer want me in your life, so I give up". I am supposed to respond saying that I do want him in my life. My hope is that ignoring him WILL be enough. But I am doubtful. Title: Re: Why am I surprised? Post by: laelle on April 26, 2013, 09:29:53 AM Hang in there PM. You are not responsible for his actions. He has to take responsibility for them.
Title: Re: Why am I surprised? Post by: hithere on April 26, 2013, 09:46:45 AM Do not respond for sure!
I am guessing he is scared and he is probably thinking the police might be coming for him. I would wait and see if he keeps contacting you are not. Title: Re: Why am I surprised? Post by: PM10 on April 26, 2013, 09:34:09 PM Ugh. Now I am feeling just sad and awful. I was doing okay, better than I have in the past. But it's only been a little more than a month. I guess I should expect to feel this way when/if he contacts me. It just sucks.
I am definitely not going to reply. I am just can't stop crying though. I'm not going to the police either. I will though if he contacts me again. |