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Title: Too painful & hard to accept that it is over? Post by: changingme on April 25, 2013, 11:39:34 PM I found myself struggling with this. There is something too hard to accept it is over after all the energies that went into this type of relationship, so I tried something new... .
I wrote a list of 5 conditions that would have to be met by my ex in order for me to ever get back into the relationship. The conditions are things I know he could never deliver on; however, in writing them & looking at it from this different perspective - It gives me a sense of control to this situation. It takes the focus off of feeling defeated and provides me with a feeling of empowerment. It is also a reminder to myself that I have values and wants that need to be met in order for me to be happy. It is helping me; maybe it can help some of you Title: Re: Too painful & hard to accept that it is over? Post by: Surnia on April 26, 2013, 02:54:57 AM Changingtimes
|iiii yes, it is indeed a different perspective shifting from "My rs is shattered, I am defeated" to "I have values about a rs"! It can be good to have this in mind also for a next relationships, when ever you are ready for it. Title: Re: Too painful & hard to accept that it is over? Post by: laelle on April 26, 2013, 03:50:29 AM |iiii Changingtimes
Title: Re: Too painful & hard to accept that it is over? Post by: copingwithhim on April 26, 2013, 05:47:59 AM Good for you changingtimes!
Having values makes us real. Adhering to them makes us genuine. CwH Title: Re: Too painful & hard to accept that it is over? Post by: changingme on April 26, 2013, 06:58:59 AM Exactly! |iiii
Title: Re: Too painful & hard to accept that it is over? Post by: babyducks on April 26, 2013, 07:09:01 AM changingtimes,
thank you. the list of 5 things was/is an eye opener for me. Title: Re: Too painful & hard to accept that it is over? Post by: hithere on April 26, 2013, 10:58:07 AM Excerpt It is helping me; maybe it can help some of you Yes! Do it! For me I listed the deal-breakers that made it impossible to continue the relationship. Anytime I was caught up in remembering the fantasy of what I thought we could be I would read them and come right back to reality! Title: Re: Too painful & hard to accept that it is over? Post by: MaybeSo on April 26, 2013, 10:00:18 PM Yes, good for you. This gets you in touch with your own values, this gets you in touch with your true self. |iiii. So important and grounding. Your relationship with yourself will reflect the relationship you have with loved ones, and you are attending to that!
Title: Re: Too painful & hard to accept that it is over? Post by: huhhuh on April 30, 2013, 03:19:13 AM It sounds like a good advise.
I am struggling with the same. I have a hard time accepting the lost. So I want to try what you write. Maybe it will help. Thanks |