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Do borderlines prefer less attractive partners, assuming they wont abandon them.  The reason i ask is because i was diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder 12 years ago.  In a nutshell BDD means you dont like your appearance.  I cant help but think my BPDex chose me thinking i would be an easy target.  While ive been told im attractive, i just dont see it because of my BDD.  It just kills me to think thats why she picked me. She is attractive (not drop dead gorgeous) but very pretty.  Most would probably say we made a good looking couple but i always felt she was out of my league.  She persued me for years when we worked together which made me feel good about myself and we finally became intimate and she left after two months. It hurt pretty bad since my BDD makes me sensitive to rejection. Not sure if anyone on here is familiar with BDD but it sucks to have it, and anytime a relationship ends for me it hits me pretty hard.  It was especially hard this time since she is BPD. Its just had me down thinking about this.

Hi matt81

I feel with you about having a bad time since the breakup, thinking about your BDD.  

To be honest: I can't answer your question. There are so many reasons we fall in love for each other. Perhaps your ex noticed first that you are attractive... .  

When we have to deal with a shattered rs, there is a danger that we are looking for reasons and sometimes we are not very nice with ourselves about the reasons which make things even harder.  

One possibility is not reasoning to much about the past and focus more about being nice with yourself or looking for some distraction like friends or hobbies.

I am not so familiar with BDD, do you have this all the time or more in close relationships?

Thanks for the reply surnia.  My BDD is here 24/7/365 so no matter what im doing or who im with i have it.  Ive learned to live with it pretty well for the most part.  I still have my days though. I especially miss her on my down days.