BPDFamily.com

My exBPD has had many brief failed r/ships since me. Word on the street is that these all ended badly. Given most pwBPD are intelligent, is there a moment when they realise:

- they churn though r/ships faster than most

- there is a lot of chaos in their lives

- they have no meaningful long term friends

- all this discarding is very isolating

- maybe the problem has not been all of them, but probably me

Do they ever experience crisis?

Does this trigger remorse or introspection?

Or do they bumble along smashing into people and wrecking lives infinitum?

Bb12

The one's that do probably seek help.  The one's that don't, don't.  Wish I had a better answer than that. 

I guess my answer is, whether they do or not, that is their choices and their decisions.  Meaning, we have no control over their self-introspection, or lack therof, whatever the case may be.

I think it depends on each person. 

My ex knew something was off about his relationships.  He used to say he was poison.  He is now is therapy so that kind of backs up beachbunforlife's thoughts.

I don't think he ever made the connection that the chaos was abnormal.  For him, it was normal since childhood. 

To answer your question - yes, pwBPD do look at their actions, how they handle it determines on their coping methods.


bb12 - this board is about your personal inventory, not taking the inventory of someone else.

How can we use this thread to focus on you?  Perhaps, what trait in you wants to look at them rather than your own personal traits that has led you into this relationship?

I do think my ex had moments of crisis and he also had moments where he would express remorse.  I never knew if his apologies were true remorse - or if they were just some "skill" he'd learned along the way.  Afterall, if someone is truly remorseful for what they've done, they don't do it again.  And that certainly wasn't my experience with my ex.  It was a constant lather, rinse, and repeat.

My best guess is that if his feelings of remorse or introspection were real, they were just as fleeting as ALL of the rest of his feelings.  His feelings were like a candy wrapper in the wind.  And so... .  I think my ex bumbles along smashing into people and wrecking lives.  The devastation in his wake is undeniable.  As time has gone on, I don't really care about him or his candy wrapper feelings.  I don't care what makes him tick like an off kilter clock anymore.

The more curious question to me was, why was I so willing to stay involved with someone who was so clearly unstable and violent? And why... .  when he proved to me time and time again... .  that he was more than capable of harming me... .  did I stick around for his BS.  Why was I so willing to be treated so, so poorly?

Those were the questions I had to answer.  Not fun... .  but oh so necessary.

turtle

back towards the start . . .

That is probably where the 9 to 11% suicide rate comes from . . . .