BPDFamily.com

I think more needs to be said about isolation.  It's almost impossible to maintain healthy relationships outside of the BPD relationship because of this.  The BP wants you isolated and will do destructive things to achieve that (like rage when you want to go out with your friends.)

My BPDw is the opposite of this... .  she is always wanting me to go out with friends and come home late so she can go out and party with her friends and drink and whatever.  She trying desperately hard to go and work for a month out of state this summer and I feel quite uneasy about it for obvious reasons.  Anyone else experience this and not the isolating?

Many members have reported this behavior.  In my case, my wife isolated me from friends and family for a long time (not anymore).  People with BPD are unique and there are no "one size fits all" behaviors. 

my BPDbf has done both.

and, i relate.  he is talking about leaving for a "month," "a few months" "starting over somewhere else" (all in a different state for a temporary possibly unstable job)--he does try to avoid a lot, and it seems like he typically wants more space, and tries to push me away, but then he doesn't want me to be too far away, and will cling to me, cuddle, not want me to go... .  it's that balance between them feeling smothered or abandoned (at least for him). it's hard to know what the right balance is. 

my bf has taken 3 months apart, but he has not dated anyone else, and he always comes back.

sorry you are going through this.

You just described my situation. She wants to know where I am, not too far away but not too close. The isolation coupled with push pull is a contact struggle. Double standard too... .  

She told me yesterday that i should be free to go out with other friends... .  I know the minute I do that she will rage. But i am planning to go out with a friend anyway... .  I have to do this for me.

Only way to not play the games is to . . .

not play the games.