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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: vanillaswirl on May 02, 2013, 02:08:04 PM



Title: Is this typical BPD behavior...
Post by: vanillaswirl on May 02, 2013, 02:08:04 PM
Or is my husband just a major kind of jerk just because?

He decided last week he wants a divorce and said its over until I prove to him that I want him, or whatever he thinks I'm supposed to do. We have been speaking, but minimally I have not initiated any physical contact... .  until this morning.

Then, on my way to work, I heard an old song that reminded me of the good times, so I sent him a text saying that I know we are still meant to work this out and be together.

He responds with 3 nasty, ignorant, cursing texts saying how I need to act right or leave him alone and I have a funny way if showing him anything,etc etc etc.

He always does this! WWIII can be going on and he'll be ok, but as soon as I take a step to make things better or try to discuss our issues/my feelings, he blows up like a volcano and brings up all the problems of last week/month/year... .  don't pay any attention to today.

I don't get it. Does anyone else have to deal with this?

D


Title: Re: Is this typical BPD behavior...
Post by: bruceli on May 02, 2013, 02:38:11 PM
Sort of... .  about every 2-3 weeks, dBPDw says she's had enough and wants to just run away, leave, etc.


Title: Re: Is this typical BPD behavior...
Post by: Mightyhammers on May 02, 2013, 04:46:00 PM
He responds with 3 nasty, ignorant, cursing texts saying how I need to act right or leave him alone and I have a funny way if showing him anything,etc etc etc.

He always does this! WWIII can be going on and he'll be ok, but as soon as I take a step to make things better or try to discuss our issues/my feelings, he blows up like a volcano and brings up all the problems of last week/month/year... .  don't pay any attention to today.

the very last time I told her I loved her, she said 'you have a funny way of showing it' - I was stunned. The last email I sent her was all the good things in the relationship, and she replied with all the things that ( she perceived ) were bad ( imo little tiny things that were resolved, certainly not deal breakers ), things that happened months ago! she never forgets anything, especially if its ammunition


Title: Re: Is this typical BPD behavior...
Post by: benny2 on May 03, 2013, 06:53:08 AM
Yep mine changes his mind constantly. Wants to make it work, does'nt know if he wants to make it work. Brings up little issues and actually blows them out of proportion like I was some kind of raving maniac while I was living there and it was the other way around. He caused all our issues with his lying and cheating but somehow cannot wrap that around his brain.


Title: Re: Is this typical BPD behavior...
Post by: bruceli on May 03, 2013, 01:55:15 PM
Yep mine changes his mind constantly. Wants to make it work, does'nt know if he wants to make it work. Brings up little issues and actually blows them out of proportion like I was some kind of raving maniac while I was living there and it was the other way around. He caused all our issues with his lying and cheating but somehow cannot wrap that around his brain.

Because all of it seems so good in their mind at the time while they are so dis-regulated. 


Title: Re: Is this typical BPD behavior...
Post by: rosannadanna on May 07, 2013, 10:24:59 AM
It sounds like typical behavior of a pwBPD who is dyregulated or in a push cycle.  What reason did he give for wanting a divorce?