BPDFamily.com

After 9 weeks I finally got my belongings back. It took the threat of a court order and the police speaking with her multiple times but I got almost everything back. There are a few items missing but hopefully they will be returned also.

She erased some photos and files from my computer. She formatted my back-up drives.

there are some other little things that are annoying.

I got my BBQ without the gas tank.

I got most of my rechargeable batteries but no the charger.

My leather couch has a 1 foot "Slash" in the back.

A whole bunch of odds and ends missing.

Is  this normal?... .  Stop... .  I should know better than to ask what is normal anymore.  Thank god I got most of my stuff.

I think they can be very vindictive especially if you initiated the break up. Mine was very cruel and vindictive while I was living there. Now when I tell him I can't deal with this anymore, he just becomes silent. Thats kind of scarey too.

Mine split on me, I became the object of hate. The police where threatened, and I think a report was made against me that was never followed up on... .  

One think I've learnt is if they dump you and want you gone, they will do anything to get rid, so things can escalate quickly.

What we need to remember though, is they are wounded. I was so angry at the time, for being treated like that. But they suffer more than what we can imagine every minute of every day.

It's not vindictive, it's the disorder.  Remember a BPD must attach to someone to become whole, and once they do, their biggest fear is that of abandonment.  Once they see you as imperfect, any trust evaporates, they get terrified and also full of shame, because in their head you're distancing from them because they aren't good enough.  The shame is too much to deal with, so they rage, which is projecting it on you, and the only way they can make sense of it in their head and cope is to find someone to blame, which is also you.  So that can show up as vindictive, even though your only transgression may have been to relax into the attachment and question the reality of the connection, which to them means you already left.

My exBPDbf threatened me with police as well when I went to talk to him after he unfriended me on facebook.  Mind you, he is a big strong guy, and there had never been violence or screaming matches in our relationship.  So yes, I think they can be vindictive.  It just occurred to me today that I am the "enemy" in his mind. 

just want to say that he initiated the breakup by email, threw out my stuff, sent me an email a week later, "hope you are good", then unfriended me the next day.  Threw me for a loop!

With them it doent matter who broke up with whom.  Best thing you can do is get away and stay away.