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Title: Should I tell ? I can't decide. Post by: MontyD on May 04, 2013, 10:14:36 PM My ex volunteered to do work for our Cancer Council.
As I'm the only friend she has (true, there is no one else), she has put me down as her referee. The Cancer Council will ring me this week and ask me about her suitability to do this work. I do know about her past. I do know that in the past she has done some terrible things to people. I do understand she has diminished executive functions. i.e. she knows right from wrong but still does the wrong thing on impulse and regrets it later. Knowing what she is like, I'm reluctant to give her an open go with a bunch of vulnerable people. My question is: Should I tell them about the mental illness BPD and the risks she poses ? Or should shut up and let her go and to hell with the consequences ? Other input would be appreciated. Monty Title: Re: Should I tell ? I can't decide. Post by: Clearmind on May 04, 2013, 10:36:44 PM Monty, did she ask you before putting you down as a reference? If so is there a reason you said yes?
Firstly, if she is undiagnosed then you really don't know whether she is BPD and secondly, its not our role to warn others. Title: Re: Should I tell ? I can't decide. Post by: MontyD on May 05, 2013, 12:18:58 AM No, she didn't ask me. I knew she was going to volunteer back in January. Things between us at that time were reasonably good.
Yes, she has been diagnosed and is in treatment. Monty |